My ex is contacting me...what does it mean?

[elphie]

I wanted to get a guy's perspective on this, as most of my friends are girls, and I feel like guys might see this differently and be able to give me better feedback. My ex and I were dating for just over two years. For the most part things were going well, we had a few arguments, but worked them out. Towards the end, he went through some major life changes (completely changing his diet and routine) and wasn't sure he could commit 100% to the relationship, wanted to figure out his goals, and he felt that the things that had been problem areas couldn't really be fixed/resolved. It was a very clean, respectful, mature break-up and I am saying this as the person who was broken-up with. One thing we both wanted was to stay in touch. It's been just over a month and he's already emailed me a couple of times, sending funny links or things he thought I would like. My birthday is coming up next week and I received a present (a book he thought I would like) in the mail from him yesterday, with a personalized message, saying "happy birthday, all the best."

Any thoughts on what this might mean? Is he trying to stay in touch? Why so soon after the break-up then? I have friends who have stayed friends with exes, but it wasn't for at least 6 months or more that they started talking again. Is he testing the water to see how I feel and if I would be open to being in a relationship again?

As much as it hurt, breaking -up was a really good thing in order to sort out my life and figure out what I want (being in a relationship takes up a lot of time so not being in one gave me more time to get stuff done, develop new interests, etc.). We had a really good relationship (it wasn't perfect, but it never will be) and I am open to giving things a second chance. So I guess the second part of this is that I want to thank him for the gift. Do I send an email or mail a thank-you note/card? A card could be short and simple without giving a lot of info (he hasn't really given any personal info about himself), but still be interpreted as personal. If I send an email, I would probably include a little more to make it feel more personal, but how much to include? Is it a good idea to include personal info? I've never stayed in touch with an ex or had anything remotely like this and am completely at a loss for what to do.

[lookingforinfo]

I think this means that he may be regreting the break up and just dosent want to outright say it. He is obously thinking about you if he has emaild you on different occasions, and sent you a book for your birthday. You say you had a clean and mature break up, I would think that he may want to get bak together. I would send him an email and thank him for the birthday present, and just keep it short and to the point, see how hes been doing things like that. It sounds like you guys will end up bak together. Hopfully everything works out the way you want it. Good luck.

[Incognito]

Well as a guy I'd offer this advice: I wouldn't outright view this as regreat for breaking up or wanting to definetly get back together. He may simply be trying to keep the lines of communication open in case he wants to come back. I've seen plenty of guys break up, date other women, and then try to reestablish a relationship when the others failed (only after the others failed and new prospects dried up). I'd say it is ok to stay in touch, but just treat him like a friend until you get a definite signal from him. Remember, you don't want to be his 'booty call' when he's not getting a lot of action. Thank him for the gift and leave it at that. I think a card would be appropriate since you recieved a physical object (had you simply received an email or e-card a thank you email would be more appropriate). If you hear more, or get different signals in the future (ie lets go out, or lets get back together) then go from there.

[Chupacabras]

Don't read anything into it. Send a polite "thank you" email, maybe a couple sentences total, and leave it at that.