She left me for another guy, please tell me what i need to do.

[brokenheart2385]

okay so she left me for another guy after 7 years. She depended on me so I was paying for her cell for the last 3 years on my family plan and she would take my car to her school and pretty much, she was used to me doing everything for her. New laptop, clothes, mall, latest cellphones, etc.. Well she just left me 2 weeks ago for another guy she was already seeing for the last months behind my back. They even put a restraining order on me so that the guy could be asured she wasn't going to see me anymore. I was shocked she did that against the guy that for the last 7 years helped her with ALL.

she took me for granted. To make it short, after the news 2 weeks ago, I was devastated and I cried. I still didn't cancel her line because for the 1st 2 days I kept begging her to come to me and that I would buy her the world but she never responded. sthe day she left me, she text me saying she filed a restrainin order against me as well as her bf so she said don't look for her anymore n that i needed help to become a better person first before she could become my friend.

well after the 3rd day she surprisingly called me n told me she wants to be happy with this guy and that maybe one day we could be friends so she said to cancel her line and she wished me luck. Well, just yesterday she sent me an email about an event schedule for tomorrow and she thinks that I really should go uz it deals with depression n peoples true stories about bi polar disorder, etc.. And surprisingly she said she was thinking of attending as well since it's a small event. Why is she emailing me already? Why does she even care to help me? I was doing fine with No contact until yesterday. I got hopeful I did reply I was gonna be there but she didn't reply bak anymore. Is it a good idea to go? What's in her interest to help me? Please I need ur advice. I still love her n breaks my heart someone else is with her.

[MynameisJesus]

She has all the answers. After 7 years I believe an explanation is appropriate.
You have the right to tell her that.
If I were in your spot it would be way too hard for me to go to that event and not make a scene.

On one hand she files a restraining order (no reason mentioned) and and the other hand she wants to help you out?
Are we missing some important info here?

Imo you either file a restraining order and never speak to someone again, or you don't file a restraining order and help someone out.

Basically she's saying " I don't want him to interfere with my private life anymore but let me interfere with his "

[brokenheart2385]

she filed it because the her bf pushed her to do it. They went out before for one month and left her when he found out she never stopped talking to me so we cheated on the guy. Now he tries to get me back cuz I messed up in texting saying why he took my girl again after 5 years of them not talking anymore and I did say I was going to kick his *** but I was just mad in the moment. She sided with him this time and both of them put a R.O. On me. that way he feels more asured I won't interfere this time. I'm really surprised she listened to him. She told me she's happy with him n that in some months she will call me to be friends and no more. It was a week already of NO ONTACT and here she is emailing methat tgeres gonna be an event that deals with depression and pretty much problems in life and that I should really but really go this friday and that she is also thinking of attending. She didn't tell me to pick her up. She just said that she was thinking of attending as well so now I'm wondering wht is she doing this to me? She really thinks I need help? And what's her interest to help me if she gas already decided to have a new BF? I learly told her last week that I wished her the best and that I will NEVER be her friend. And here she is contacting me about the event tomorrow I'm tempted to go to hopefully see her there but I know I'm gonna get hurt

[brokenheart2385]

anyone please?

[HeartIsAching]

Honor the restraining order. She could be setting you up if you show up to the event.

Go to No Contact. I'm serious - don't **** around with this shit, the last thing you need is a conviction for a violent crime.

[MynameisJesus]

I would immediately go to the police and tell them she is contacting you, which is extremely bizarre behavior for someone who filed a restraining order. Regardless of her reason to do so.
Heartisaching has a very good point. She may be setting you up.

There is no point in being her friend or having any contact with her in my opinion. You can seek your own help if you want to.

She filed a RO but wants to be friends? And if you get into a fight as "friends" you will be prosecuted for it? Even if you don't get in a fight she can get you into a lot of trouble.
I think your ex GF isn't very clever

[brokenheart2385]

well she told me last time we talked on phone that he forced her to put a R.O. And that she felt really bad for doing that to me after all I've done for her. She said she was going to cancel it and that to her it doesn't matter cuz she never really meant that and that the day her family, her bf, and her filed a R.O. She was really but really mad at me. She seemed more calmed on the phone though 9 days ago. She said I need to change my bipolar disorder and that in a few months she would conctact me to be her friend. And that ifii care for her, then I should let her be happy with this guy in the meantime.

I love her so much, I just want her back after the call I didn't contact her n I was fine but just two days ago she told me I should go to that event dealing with depression and bipolar disorder and that's it's really interesting and nice to see. She didn't tell me she was gonna be there though. She just said she was thinking of attending the event tonight as well but that's all she said. So I'm not sure if she's ecen going or she's just trying to help me out?? It hurt me and got me a lil hopeful I'm so sad cuz she's with that other guy now. :'(

[workingman78]

she isn't coming back dude, time to get over it. Also restraining orders work both ways, she has no right to contact you, and by violating that order and contacting you, you should go to the police. I agree with dealing with the bipolar disorder and the depression, but that shouldn't come from her, she should piss off, and leave you alone.

[brokenheart2385]

I'm here t get help. Not to get negative comments. I'm really serious. I've known her since we were kids s yes it hurts me she filed a R.O. Against me and she's with some guy now. Yes I treated her bad before and was too controlling and jealous and you never know what you have until you really lose it. I told her I was going to fight for her but she had told me last week we are friends. She said we have been used to each other and it's only that and that I need to go out with other people as well cuz I'm someone she wants in her life as a friend. I'm still in denial so yeah, it's hurting so much. I'm willing to hange for her and be better. She already told me the R.o. Doesn't mean anythibng to her, she just needs me to take sometime for myself amd get better n date other girls for now. She deeply cares for me but as a friend and she wants me to realize this and that's why she said we need time apart and that I should get the help for the bipolar disorder that I have. I guess I'll let her be happy, I'm just so hurt someone else has her now :'(

[Toddstar]

When my ex dumped me and within weeks she was living with someone I had to really search my thoughts and eventually I realized it wasnt HER I was so devastated about, it was my bruised ego that she chose someone over me. You may never forget her but she has made her decision and, trust me, you are better off for it. Whos to say she wont do the same thing to this new goof? You deserve someone better than that and you will find her. I'm 40 and I am still waiting for the right one to come along. And I can and will wait and I wont settle. DOnt settle because she was comfortable and all that you've known for the last 7 years and all that wasted time, etc. You will get better and you will do better.

Forgive yourself for even doing what you did for her and know the right one is on her way. This one is not worth your time. Heal your ego and know you're better off. (Wow, 6 months ago I would never believe I could write these words...time DOES heal all.)

[brokenheart2385]

whatabout my hopes to be with her? :'(

[skeeziix]

I would not even consider being with this person. Obviously they only thought about themselves in your whole of the relationship. You invested a lot of time and money, and your heart! You have to know that she isn't the end all be all of your life. If she didn't ever put you a priority which made you insecure and jealous she is not worth it. If someone truly loves you they will do it by showing you how much and never make you feel like shit, for the most part. She sounds like she coasted along and then decided she didn't need you anymore. You need to move on. Get out there go have fun **** her. (But I would definitely contact the police about the restraining order about her contacting you that is ****ing idiotic...)

[rafterman]

To the OP, the new guy is as dumb as dogshit.....If she did that to you, whats to say he wont be next. You dodged a bullet IMO, you dont want a woman that see's love as how much you can buy her. Keep your chin up tiger.

[brokenheart2385]

the thing is, she knows that guy already. 5 years ago she left me for him for 1 month and during that month we cheated on him so he left her. 1 month later me n my ex fight and she dates the guy again and makes him believe she stopped talking to me. We end up cheating on him a 2nd time n they lasted only 3 weeks. Months go by n me and her are really happy until I confess to her on New Years(2007) that I heated on her as well in the past. She gets furious and she leaves me once again for the same guy a 3rd time!!!! Welll they start being boyfriend/girlfriend and she says to me to leave her alone. Well we end up hanging out and get intimate and we end up cheating on him the wole time for the 6 weeks they were together. He finds out so he suffered a lot, I know, but I couldn't let her go either. I don't know why she accepted to share both of us all those times. I put up with it. Well the guy finally leaves for good so for the last 5 years we were on n off and I always suported her but we were always there together.

this is why I am shocked she left me for the same guy once again. I an understand why he forced her to put a R.O. On me as well as him. He's scared we are going to do the same so this time my ex told me that this time we can't be friends cuz we had already hurt the guy in the past. So I guess se wants him to trust her now I'm really really sad and surprised the guy that suffered so much for her before, came back to get her. They bumped into each other 5 months ago and I knew already but she always told me that he would never take her back after what she did to him before and I believed her cuz all these last months we were together and being intimate. I guess they were dating for the last 2 months but never did I know it was happening. She lied to me while I was being so nice and sweet. How was she dating him behind my back if she was being intimate with me? He already knew about me, I suppose. So just 2 weeks ago is when I found out and I got really crazy, I'm not gonna lie. I didn't wanna believe that they both were dating and serious. How did he take her back after what she did to him? How did she take him back if before she never really liked him? She used him as a rebound all those times and never felt attraction for him. Those 3 times she left me fr him, it was to get away from me but she knew she couldn't do it each time. So now I'm still with hope but it seems like she's serious

[Toddstar]

RUN AWAY FROM HER AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Start new. New is always better.