Have you ever had a second chance?

[bringthanoise]

My girlfriend and I broke up about two months ago and at first I did all the wrong things. Like I bugged her and stuff for a month. In the past she's been dragged around and treated like shit by her previous boyfriends and I didn't really treat her like my girlfriend. I didn't really show her that I cared and when she ended it I told her how much she meant to me but she thought I was bullshitting her because I didn't tell her that when we were together. Really I was experiencing some family issues and I wasn't really myself. Honestly it was too hard to talk to her about it when It ended but if I wouldve told her we would probably still be together. Do you think it's too late to tell her the entire story now? I mean when it ended we both agreed it was the situation that pushed us away. She said she never stopped liking me. I think she thought I wasn't committed and that reopened some old wounds from previous relationships. I want to tell her what was really happening in my life becasue she never thought I liked her when we began going out. Like there's a lot of misunderstandings. Do you think it's possible to win her back? What should I do?

[smackie9]

First, access the real reason why you broke up. Ask yourself, "have I fixed and understand all my issues?" Second contact her and ask her out for coffee or lunch if she is up to discussing about getting back together....never ever beg. If she says no, accept that and leave her alone. If you do meet up with her, look your best and don't be needy or clingy. Let her get comfortable and take things slow. Don't ever push her, let her decide if it's can work or let her have time to think about it. Be friendly and casual. If things work out, always keep the lines of communication open with her and show her that you have changed. If things don't work out, move on.

[SelflessnHumble]

Uh, what? "I bugged her and stuff" What does that even mean?
Then you tell us that you KNEW she was treated like shit by her exes, yet YOU too treated her like shit?

If you don't SHOW you care: then you don't really care for her dude. Thoughts and even words don't mean shit. It's all about "Affirmation." <-----Look it up.

If you were experiencing some family issues: YOU failed to communicate this to her: and instead like a coward took it out on her: when she didn't deserve it. Not cool.

I wish I could blow shit up your ass and tell you: "everyone deserves a 2nd chance" and that, "everything will be O.k" -but the fact is: SHE has made the choice that since you have shown
you weren't good for her: she doesn't want YOU in her life....

Now, IF you truly loved her: you would respect HER and her wishes when she tells you she doesn't want to be with you.
People who use past relationships' experiences to push newer people aside can't deal with reality nor have had closure from those often traumatic experiences and worst of all: you added to those!

It's not a game dude. You don't "Win" people over. If you got back together: it would be the same old bullshit soon after because until YOU deal with your issues: no girl should ever have to be subjected to
the abuse you dish out: no matter your excuses invoked via "family."

You want to get her back? Stop bullshitting people with words...
Instead: show her and involve her, then she will understand...
First, you must take responsibility, and identify, then address your issues because no one deserves to bear the brunt of your inability to deal with those issues that aren't theirs, but your own.
Don't be selfish just because you miss (not her, but what you shared) and sacrifice both of your emotional well being just to get back with her...
Don't change for her: change for yourself...Write down everything you did to her that you KNOW is wrong...Then correct this behavior.

[GK001]

not good enough mate. 2 month is too short to change your self. you get your head screw on straight before trying to get her back. what your feeling now is just "i miss her" i miss the sex" "i feel so lonely". you want her back to fill a hole in your life.
if you really love her, deal with your issues first. i can assure you it takes longer then 2month to "change" ones mentality, unless he/she been through a life or death event or hit rock bottom. its unfair for her to get in a relationship with some one whos "in the process" of change when the out come is uncertain.

Now if shes moved on and if you truly love her, like wot selfess has said..."leave her alone".

[bringthanoise]

We only dated oficially for a week. This girl fell hard for me, bit I waited awhile to ask her our to sort out those issues. I had an unexpected family death and my parents almost lost their jobs. When we began going out it was fine, bit I had to get some blood tests done becasue of a potential health problem. I didn't treat her like shit. When I said I didn't really treat her like my girlfriend I meant I didn't text her for a weekend because of those tests. I was going to tell her about them but it ended the day before I could. When I said I bugged her, I asked for another chance to talk to her and when I did I never told her all of that because it just ended. I waited so long to ask her out that she thought I didn't really like her. The last time we talked not by text she said she never stopped liking me. She just thought I never liked her. But I blew the chance to tell her this before so should I ask to talk to her? I never treated her badly, I treated her more as a friend because I didn't wan to go forwar withus until I told her what was happening. Like I said it ended before I could and I just told her that I really liked her and to give me another chance, but she thought I was pretending. I want to tell her straight up what happened, but I don't know how.

[HeartIsAching]

Wait... what? You only dated her for a week, and that was two months ago? She's likely forgotten your name by now. Move on.

[xxazurexx]

Blimey and if he treated her like shit and only after a week!!!

I can understand you had bad things going on in your private life, but still...is that enough reason to treat a girl you hardly knew like crap?

And why has it taken you 2 months and to want to tell her the whole story?

[bringthanoise]

Heres the entire story. I'm 17 by the way:
So school starts and a few weeks in I meet this girl and we became good friends. She was pretty flirtatious with me, but shes like that with a lot of people. Shes pretty outgoing and I thought nothing of it at the time. Then we started to hang out more and I really began to like her. I planned to ask her out a bunch of times, but a lot of stuff came up. Like my grandpa died early into the school year and there was some family drama with my parents and I didn't want to drag her into that. I knew she was worth the wait. I mean she REALLY liked me. Like she ditched her homecoming date to hang out with me and there was a lot of other times we hung out and I never really made a move on her because of what was happening with me at the time. The one time I should've asked her out I didn't and I heard about in school the next week from her friends. Like they thought I was just dragging her around and shit because it had been 2 months and I never asked her out. Like her last boyfriend treated her badly. I mean he cheated on her and he took her for granted. Two weeks later, all my family drama settled and I took her out and I asked her out at the end of the day. At first, she turned me down because she didn't expect me to ask her out. She thought I saw her as more of a friend. So the next few days I just left her alone and out of the blue she comes over to talk to me, so I hear her out. She tells me that she needs me and that she wants me in her life so we began going out.

So the day she comes over I learned that I had to get a blood test done for a potential health problem. I mean at the time, I didn't tell her yet because she gets stressed easily and I didn't want her to worry. I had a lot of stuff to do for that test and I didn't really talk to her that entire weekend. I didn't treat her like shit. I just didn't treat her like my girlfriend. Like I didn't really lead during that week because of all the shit happenening. The day before I was going to explain everything she ended it and at that point I thought it was too late. Like she thought I was pretending to like her because that's how she was treated in the past.

I know I didn't her like my girlfriend. I treated her more like a friend, but it wasn't because I didn't like her. I know I should've told her all of that and I planned on doing that, but it was a little too soon at first. I didn't want to overwhelm her. And it got to a point where not telling her right away just ate away at me because I knew she knew something was wrong with me. Before we went out, I treated her better because my life at that point was less drama free and that's why she liked me so much. I never chased after her and I treated her right. But a few weeks before and after we were together I wasn't really myself because of that drama. I didn't treat her like my girlfriend and I know that. I mean she REALLY liked me, but she always thought I was messing with her and that I just asked her out because that's what she wanted.

All of the times I tried to talk to her it just turned into a why I really like you speech. I guess my enotions just got the best of me at the times. The last time we talked face to face was about a month and a half ago. I'll text her here and there, but it's just casual conversation. I see this girl every day in school and I still have feelings for her and I know she still has some feelings for me. I mean she never thought she deserved me. She's always said that she was so lucky to end up with me and she just thinks that I'm better than her and it's really self-destructing.

Really, our relationship began with uncertainty. Like she didn't think I liked her when I asked her out and I never expected her to turn me down. We weren't really on the same page and the timing was off. We didn't really know what the other wanted how to act around one another and it got to a point where it seemed like our relationship was never real, like it was an act. I mean it was like we were still friends, not dating.

This girl is so different from everyone I've ever been with and theres just something about her that keeps pulling me back in. I've always known what the true problem was, I just couldn't get it out of my head because I was overwhelmed with everything going on in my life at the time. But now that that shit has died down, I want to tell her everything because it created a lot of misunderstandings. Before when we talked I never addressed the real problem. I mean there was just a lack of communication on my part and I know that. I want to talk to her. I want to tell her this, but I don't know how I should approach it.

[xxazurexx]

So for all this time she likely thinks that you just pushed her out and because you weren't really interested in her.

Why don't you just call her, or text if you prefer and tell her that you would like to meet with her and talk to her. If this girl is as crazy about you as you say, she will be glad you made that call and that you want to talk. Tell her everything that you feel you need to tell her and hopefully she will understand - then you two can try again

[bringthanoise]

That's what I want to do but it's not that easy. I mean I've talked to her before and I never told her that and like the first month after it ended I made myself look like a dumbass and I pleaded for her to listen to me, but it just led to me saying his much she meant to m so that pushed her away. So now when I say I want to talk she's gona think it's going to be one of those emotional outpours. I'll admit the times I've tried to talk to her before I wasn't all there. I was emotionally unavailable but I know what I want to tell her now. I know it'll be different when we talk but I don't know if she's going to believe me.