Have you ever had a friend with benefits ? And if so, what did you benefit?
Being and having a friend with benefits entails having a “friend” or person that you would have there to use or “****” in some way.
You are both mutually there for each other for your own convenience. You are free and easy for each other and possibly for other people as well, depending on the kind of rules you have set up for each other.
I am here to tell you that I think deep feelings will never come or evolve from this friends with benefits. Humans were not made to be used up. They were made to feel and actually be appreciated for all and everything they are. They were made to be given things and gifts without having to reciprocate, just because they are so great. Just because they deserve it. All humans are either capable of having deep insight or most of us already do. Humans are so much more than attention feeders or banks. We all have deep souls. We are all so complex.
Throughout my life, I have been used for many things. I am fully aware when I am being used or manipulated. I have had to watch many people use each other over and over. I have seen them only submerge their lives in desperation and hopelessness. People want to feel good. People want to be touched, people want to be felt. All or most of us crave this. Because we want to feel like we are loved and most or all of us connect romantic love with sex. Because righteously and instinctively you have sex with someone that you want to love you. When people are having casual sex and are longing for this attention, I believe that their hearts are depleted by other means. Through my personal experiences and empathy, I really do believe this with all of my heart.
Some of us don’t know what we are missing. Some of us don’t know what we need. Maybe your soul needs to be loved. Internally, eternally, and physically loved. Sex is not love. Sex enhances love. People love other people all the time without having sex. People don’t need to be giving their bodies away to people who aren’t going to care about the body being given. Because we are so unique and miraculous, there has to be someone out there that was made just for you in a perfect way. I have seen people in love, I have found what love is through my study and my life. In my opinion, we are all made for one person, biologically and spiritually. True romantic love is out there.
So. Who benefits? What did one gain?
For a little while, it would seem that you felt adored or thought of. You feel partial sensation of love, but not all of what it could be.
I compare friends with benefits to a long drawn out one night stand. You lose promise in yourself and the other person. You weaken and limit the possibility of finding someone you would actually be in love with, the one you were meant to find. And you are wasting away possible love you could be sharing and offering someone else. Someone who would love the love you have in yourself to give.