Confused and Needs Outside Oppinion

[ShellyAnna]

First, thanks for reading this; it's long. Second, If you've got a question or need more info before giving advice, let me know. I really am in a indecisive state and don't know what to do.

Here's the story: I've just graduated from college with a BA and my boyfriend has graduated with an Associate's degree in network security. He really knows what he wants to do career-wise, I, on the other hand, have a pretty good idea of what I don't want to do, not what I want to do...I'm still trying to figure out what to do with myself. However, he's working a dead-end part time job that he's had all through college and now it's just not cutting it. He's also had serious problems finding a networking job in the area we live in, which by the way, is exactly 5 hours from his parents and 5 hours from mine. So by living here it keeps the peace with the families.

Here's the bad part: We've been living together for two years now, while in school, with some help from my parents, not his. Now, after 3 months of living completely on our own, working temp jobs to barely pay the bills, we're really starting to have financial trouble because I can't make up my mind on what type of job I really want to commit to and his part time job doesn't cut it. And neither of us seem to find the jobs we truey want.....

So, my parents have offered 3 free months of living with them to allow us time to find jobs and to find a place to live. Do I take the offer, move even farther from his wonderful family and our friends here? Where my parents live, there seems to be lots of jobs and expansion. Surely we could find work and we'd have three months to, yet we couldn't do it in three months here.

I'm really confused about this whole thing and really need some outsiders oppinions. My friends are telling me to stay here and suck it up and take what ever I can get. But that feels wrong after I've put so much work into school and I know I can do better than, " do you want fries with that...."

Please, any help will be great.

~ShellyAnna
P.S. Oh yeah, I really really love him and want to marry him and don't want to leave him.

[Illusional]

well did you talk to your bf about it? i think that should be first and foremost. see what his opinions are and what he has to say.

secondly, anything is worth a try. if something isn't working out, but it is pulling you down, why would you want to stay with it? opening a door is like opening a present, you'll never know what you'll find inside unless you try. change isn't always bad, yet it always isn't good. i feel that since things aren't working out with the present sitation you should move out. i'm sure that he can find another part time job elsewhere and you should try to advance your carreer. you didn't spend all the time, money, and effort in school to later suffer in life. raverboy

[ShellyAnna]

Actually we spent about three hours talking about it last night, after I posted this mesage.

Your absolutely right, thank you so much for replying! Even though he doesn't want to move away from his family and really doesn't like my mother (he's really cool with my dad though) he agreed that it really is a good opertunity and we should try it. (especially after we figured out financially how much we would be saving!)

It's going to be hard to move again, and having most things in storage but I think we're going to go for it. We are going to his parents this weekend to discuss it with them and hope they support our decision.

I'm really happy to hear another outside opinion!

Thanks again!
~ShellyAnna

[des21]

IMHO, He'll want to start his job search before moving. Being dependent on someone no matter how nice they are can build resentment in both parties. It's good to accept help but you both should be trying to find what you can now before making the move into your parent's home.