its just becoming.. so mechanical

[manonfire]

sigh, ive been hooking up with this girl for like.. more than a year now. i mean, were really good friends w/o the hookign up, but i dunno, im just like.. bored. its so like.. mechanical now. like its like, ok first breasts, now vagina, ok done. and yah its just... bluh.. i dont know what to do.. i know that i want to find someone else.. but im afraid if i let this girl go, itll end the great friendship we got. i guess most of our friendship is how were so open to each other sexually.. like we can make jokes about sex and stuff and its just great to be around her. so i feel like if i ever stopped.. ide lose her and she would like never talk to me again... and proms coming and we were like "hell ya course were going together" and shit like that. but what do i do? i hate this feeling of like repetitiveness and not knowing what i want... i mean i really like the girl, i just feel like i need something new...

[TAVS]

Maybe you could tell her how you feel

[artyemi]

it's a phase. talk.

[shh!]

You are not SUPPOSED to stay with your high school sweetheart forever; it is just practice for when you are an adult. Since you have been sleeping with this girl, there is no way you can separate and remain friends. She will obviously be hurt. When is your prom? Is there a reasonable amount of time for her to "get over" you and find someone else she might like? If so, break things off now, so she has an opportunity to be with someone who really wants to be with her. She will feel like an idiot if she finds out you have been feeling this way for a long period of time.

[Ellynn]

It sounds to me like you care about her alot.....as a person. I know how sex can tend to get mechanical and boring...and routine. WHy don't you try spicing things up a little bit? Trying other things? What do you think most married people do? But then again your still young......

But if your honestly not into her as anything more then a friend anymore....then you have to tell her. Let her know how much you value her friendship....but just feel its not working betweent he two of you on a relatiohship level. Just be honest.

[Mish]

Mmmmm. I have definitely been in your shoes my friend. If you are wandering if the repetitiveness factor will ever go away, let me put your mind at ease by telling you that no, it never will. You will have repetitiveness in the future with any person you end up hooking up with if you refuse to do anything about it. The question you have to ask yourself is do you want that to be with the girl you are with at the moment or with someone else in the future?

How do you deal with that? Well, loving the person for who they are and being in the state where you are ready to do anything and everything for them because you don't know what a life without them would be like certainly helps because the physical intimacy is complemented so much by the emotional intimacy you share with that person. If you're doing it for just a bit of fun, then you can end the repetitiveness by trying something new like bringing a wild goat into the bedroom (I have never tried that myself, but can see how that would change things around a little).

If above doesn't work for you and you would prefer to become repetitive with someone else, then find your friend a replacement for yourself and tell her he is the new you for her to have fun with. If she has already developed feelings for you and sees you as her boyfriend, but you simply couldn't care less, then change you phone number and the place of residence because you simply don't deserve her and will only cause her heartache by being her friend.

Good luck with your decision

Respect...