Moving way too slow?

[Ringman]

Hey all,

I'm new here.. so this my first post. Anyways, here is the story.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 9 months now. Recently I've been frustrated with her because I think she is taking the relationship way too slow. To put it in perspective, I've gotten 2 hand-job's in the last 9 months..which is as far as we have gone(I've tried multiple times to go farther but she always gets annoyed... so I don't force it). When we are together alone, we make out a lot.. but it just basically stays at that. I don't mean to come off as a jerk, but I'm just wondering if she really IS taking this way too slow. I need some other people's opinions on this because I am too shy to converse about this with any of my male friends. I've had 2 other girlfriends before and have moved much faster with them in the time that we spent as a couple(2 and 3 months) as compared to this current relationship. And, at the time being, I feel she is more attached to me than I am to her.... and I don't want to hurt her feelings and come off as a shallow "action seeking" guy. I hear all my friends talk about what they do with their girlfriends...and it makes me feel jealous and annoyed. In my opinion, I think I have been VERY patient (once again I don't want to come off as a jerk to anyone.. I'm just feeling a frustrated and annoyed right now) I haven't talked to her about this yet..... but I thought maybe I would seek some advice before talking to her about it.

Any additional info:
-I'm her first boyfriend
-We're both the same age. (17)
-We are pretty close emotionally...and talk a lot about almost everything. (except this)
-She dry humps my leg to get an orgasm(with clothes on).. but when I try to put my hands inside her pants... that's when she gets really annoyed.

My thought for her acting this way.
-Self conscious her body


So any advice would be great.
Thanks in advance,
Michael.

[Spring Haze]

The only solution is talking about it. So what if your friends and their girlfriends are farther along? This girl is only 17, and you're her first boyfriend.

Maybe the bigger issue here is her being more attached than you are?

[carl1222]

You say she keeps getting annoyed when you try to move things forward sexually. What does she tell you is her reason is for stopping you and getting annoyed? Surely she has discussed her reluctance with you, right?

If she has, then take it at face value.

If not and you can't even discuss your sexual expectations and boundaries, then the two of you aren't ready for a sexual relationship yet anyway.

Carl.

ps ... my high school sweetheart and I dry-humped for almost a year before we both knew it was time to go forward.

[JustPassing]

I agree with the above posts. The best way to go is to talk about this with your girlfriend.

If she really doesn't feel ready for a more sexual relationship then you need to respect that and not force the issue.

If you really want a more sexual relationship and can't wait, and she doesn't feel ready, then maybe its time you both had a open and honest discussion about your feelings and where you think this relationship is going.

Because if waiting is becoming unbearably frustrating for you and the pressure is too much for your girlfriend then it maybe time to consider ending it.

Just try to respect her feelings, but at the same time be honest with her and yourself about how you are feeling and what compromises you are willing to make. I'd recommend you get your own feelings clear in your mind before you bring this up with her.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

You've got to respect her. There is not a certain amount of time where it suddenly becomes not fast enough. If she is not comfortable yet, don't push it. While you shouldn't push it, I would discuss it with her. You guys are still yet young and if you are her first serious boyfriend, taking it to the next level might be kind of scary for her. Plus, what are her beliefs? Does she want to abstain from intercourse until marriage? Is she religious?

So, as others said, you're going to have to talk about it with her. Respectfully. You need to make sure you're both on the same page about where your relationship is going.

[Ringman]

I'm not aiming for sex. I just want to advance a bit in the relationship. Thanks for the advice, I just need to think this through before I make any decisions.

[Vain]

If you can't bring it up, don't have sexual relations of any kind really. Try talking to her about it, you don't have to say anything like "Its been long enough lets just have sex already!". Perhaps a more neutral approach, as in asking her opinion on it and what her views on it are and then telling her your take on it. You feel its time to advance things a little further and if she isn't comfortable with that then there is not much you can do other than talk to her about it.

[Gigabitch]

Yes, I'd like to know WHY she doesn't want to progress. Social pressure or personal beliefs? Your approach would be radically different, depending.