Hey everybody. I found this forum while i was looking for help and advice on what i should do, and i'm hoping that some of you can give me good insight. This may turn out to be a long post but bear with me..

I dated this amazing girl for two years. that relationship ended two years ago. after we broke up, we tried being friends, since it was difficult to just give up on each other. my relationship before this one lasted two years as well, but ended abruptly, and stopped communicating with her due to the girl i'm talking about now, who i fell in love with.. anyways.. trying to stay friends with her was one of the most painful things i had to go through. faking a smile just so she wouldnt know i was hurting, putting my heart on the line just so she could be happy. it was painful.

a few months after we tried being good friends, our 'friendship' kinda fizzled out, sadly. due to family problems, this heartbreak, and just getting sad with life, i moved away. running away never solves your problems. never. i moved about an hour and thirty minutes away from home.. just enough distance to keep me away, and so i can go home whenever i want as well. during this time, i didnt talk to her as much as i used to, as i was caught up in my own new life. the odd thing was, i was heartbroken to hear that she moved on. i tried moving on and away from her myself, meeting many girls, dating a few, and got serious with one. but my heart still stayed stuck on her. i realized that all the stories i was telling my new friends, were mainly about her.

i moved back home, re-united with old friends, and began talking to her again. over time, as friends, we became closer and closer again. KEEP IN MIND.. she has a boyfriend. i continued dating, meeting new people, etc. just so i could get my mind off her. none of it worked. one of these girls slept over at my place one night, and when things began to get steamy, i couldnt get it up cuz i was too busy thinking of the other. yeah.

fast forward to today. she and i are like best friends. she has a boyfriend. but i love her. and i put myself through hell and back to realize and validate this. i really love her. and i want her back. even though she has a boyfriend, the other day we ended up kissing for hours, in the middle of a field... then had to leave when the sprinklers cut on. haha. i know, corny. but it was amazing. it hurt me to know that i'm not 'the one' for her at the moment, and as painful as it was to just kiss her for as long as i did, i didnt care. it felt like home. and during that kiss, all my other problems vanished. and i was happy.


MAIN POINT:
how do i get her back... she clearly still loves me. but she has a boyfriend, and their one year anniversary is coming up in a week. i dont want to lose her... the thought of it tears me up. knowing she still has feelings for me, and she still cares... it hurts. i just dont know what to do, or how to handle this. she said that shes going to stay with her current boyfriend, because she's happy. but how could she say the things she says to me behind his back, kiss me, hold me, hug me, and treat me like i'm hers. i know its hard for her too though.. so should i wait? make a move? what do you guys think?

im sorry for such a long post... thanks for any help.