My GF of 2 years is having an identity crisis

[Mark41]

My girlfriend of two years is having an identity crisis since she got to university which she commutes to half hour away. I'm presently not at a university and are working all year.

She doesn't know what she wants, only that she wishes we could just go on a break, have a fling, realize that the party life isnt all great like on muchmusic and be with me happily ever after so to speak. She's feeding off her new slutty friends and just loves attention from guys now and doesnt care as much what kind of attention I get from girls (she was always quite jealous until suddenly three weeks ago when she went out with her new friends).

So she wants a break and she always said a break would end us and just be terrible so I'm telling her what I think is going on in her head and breaking up with her to give her time to find herself/realize how special what we have is so she can come back to me. However, I think I would have to reject her if she did something stupid like sleep with someone else even though we weren't together. I've been cheated on once before and will not tolerate any sort of disrespect in this regard.

Theres this particular guy who was hitting on her at a club until she mentioned she had a boyfriend and he ran away. Now theyre good friends and tell each other everything . . . whic I find a little suspicious considering that he's probably giving her advice that would benefit HIM.

I'm breaking up with her tomorrow, how am I going to concentrate on anything until she comes back? How can I trust her with this guy when were not together? How can I reject the girl I love if she comes back after doing something stupid? Any advice/thoughts please

[Lipp]

Well, university life often introduces people to a large range of same-aged boys and girls which they will meet on almost a daily basis. It seems to me as if your relationship was going a bit stale, and that now she's spending a lot of time with other people, which carries a very large potential of her finding someone else.

It'd be difficult for you to compete with all of the new guys who she gets to know from scratch, so prepare for that it might be over.

[Only-virgins]

Yea, I think it is most likely over. She believes there to be someone better.

[Gigabitch]

Um, I think it's YOU having the crisis about her identity. She "commutes" a half-hour away? Wtf? Dude, I commute a half an hour every day. It's called driving to work.

It sounds to me like you want her to stay the girl she was when you met her, and that's pretty unlikely. Either you get with the program and grow and change with her or accept the fact that she's on her way out.

[IndiReloaded]

Theres this particular guy who was hitting on her at a club until she mentioned she had a boyfriend and he ran away. Now theyre good friends and tell each other everything . . .

I'm breaking up with her tomorrow, how am I going to concentrate on anything until she comes back? How can I trust her with this guy when were not together? How can I reject the girl I love if she comes back after doing something stupid? Any advice/thoughts please

That he 'ran away' is what she says. LOL. Yes, you should break up with her b/c she's on her way out w/this other guy anyway.

Oh, and she wont be back. Breakups in college are the rule, not the exception.

[Mark41]

Update: Yeah, I pushed for a breakup and we mutually agreed to do so. I'm doing alright but she keeps telling me how sad she is and how much she loves me and how much she wants us to eventually get back together. It's extremely annoying and I don't believe much if any of it. So **** her, I'm too young to sit and mope

[UKboy]

Update: Yeah, I pushed for a breakup and we mutually agreed to do so. I'm doing alright but she keeps telling me how sad she is and how much she loves me and how much she wants us to eventually get back together. It's extremely annoying and I don't believe much if any of it. So **** her, I'm too young to sit and mope

It's a sad case.It never faisl to amaze me how people don't realise how special they are.I could never understand why people can get so insecure of their identify.One could never find their indentity in other since people percieve one another in a different manner.There is no definete lock key the same for everyone.
She needs to know her identity can only be found in herself and only in her only.She needs to know what makes her her and that you love her for who she is and not what she has become.This is one thing I told the girl whom I love.Not to say she has fed off her friends but the changes in her is obvious.
As for your girlfriend,the bare minimium she could do to love herself and get her identity back on track is to stop being influence by her negative friends.
I'm glad you handled it well,quick and simply done.But if I may encourage you,do stand by her and offer your advice as a friend.You wouldn't want her to mess her future do you.

[misombra]

she wants to be free from you.

happy thanksgiving.

[Mish]

I'm breaking up with her tomorrow, how am I going to concentrate on anything until she comes back? How can I trust her with this guy when were not together? How can I reject the girl I love if she comes back after doing something stupid? Any advice/thoughts please

You are simply breaking up and that's it. There's no more obligations for either one of you do to anything. Just tell her that it's over between the two of you, there will be no waiting. You will go out and have fun, sleep around and maybe find a new gf and she can do whatever she wants as well.

That's what break ups are about, you're splitting up and going your seperate ways. And I think it's the right move, this relationship needs it by the sound of things.

[Dasein]

You have done the hardest part and that is making the break.

People around this age are still discovering who they are as people. Some people are sure of themselves while others try on different persona's, hang out with different people. It is difficult to let her go but I think that is what she really wanted.