cant feel in love (but want to)

[Priya]

I am a 27year old girl. Five years back I met a guy who told me that he loves me. His love was true and deep. I barely knew him and didn�t have any feelings for him at that time, but I thought of giving this relationship a chance. We are together since then. He has been good to me, and I feel secure as there is no chance of his leaving me for another woman. I didn�t have any feelings for him in the beginning, and I gave it a chance thinking that with time my feelings will develop. But I don�t feel much for him even after these many years. I don�t feel connected the way I can to someone I love. It is only 30% of what it could have been. Can you please tell me how I can develop strong emotional bond, how I can feel true deep love for him as he does for me.

[ecojeanne]

you either have it or you don't. it can't be forced. my only consolation is that at your age i felt similar, having never loved anyone truly, then when i turned 32 i fell in love and then spent my time missing that feeling after the break up. it's wonderful to love but you may be happier if you don't know what your missing. i sometimes think that.

[Raze]

Love can't be forced. It just happens. No one can tell you that you're in love, you just know it... bones to bones.

[mbdwaj]

I can not offer any help but Priya I can tell you this. Seems to me that you are not very good with knowing your emotions. Try doing some things differently. Like make new friends (male). Give yourself sometime to miss him. This may sound a bit tricky but if you miss him then you know that you are in love with him. But don't make this test as a pass for getting out of relationship.

Make a List of things you like about him and you hate about him.

But I must say one thing. Not all guys posses the spark for girls. Generally girls do attracted towards that spark. But, it does not mean that the guys who does not have the spark are not good boyfriend or husbands, infact they are better in both roles. He might have accepted you the way you are. It is you who is having difficulty in accepting him. And believe me he knows it. And if he is a nice guy, the he is already working everyday to make himself better for you.

Its been 5 years, if you think you can't proceed further than leave him right now. Do not drag this relationship on testing ground bcoz that will hurt him most. It will be waste of both of your time, money and emotions.

Apne ko thoda space do. Uska bata do. Wo dukhi to jarror hoga lekin agar wo sacchi tumse pyar karta hai to wo try jaroor karega tumhe waapis paane ke liye. And then you can decide.

Good Luck.
MB.