I have been generally been doing great in the last few weeks. Actually feeling happy. I have mostly forgotten what it feels like to have a bf and be in love, so my single life right now didn't bother me. I know my ex has a new gf as I've seen a picture before on facebk. I accidently decided to unblock him from facebook last night...bad mistake...more pictures of him and his gf. The pictures look like bliss...looks like they're so much in love!! Its such gorgeous, genuine happiness, it breaks my heart. Me and him didn't even have one picture together when we dated..and if we did, he would've never put it up on facebook.
The hardest thing I have ever gone through is this realization of the fact that my ex can be loving, normal bf, he just was a complete jerk to ME! It makes me feel like garbage...like I'm worth nothing. That even my best attempt at being a gf was not enough. It sucks SOO much that he was such a jerk to me, and now has the love of his life and everything is working out just fine for him. I'm always the one that gets left behind with a broken heart, even though i've done nothing to deserve any of it!! i've had absolutely no prospects for the last few months since the breakup. Anyway..it just makes me sad that I had him first, but we couldn't make it work..and now someone else swoops in and makes it all perfect...makes it everything I wanted with him. Sucks a lot!!!! I feel like it'll never be MY time. I want to be in love, I want to meet my future husband sometime soon...as I'm 25 and not getting any younger How do I get through such a strong feeling of hopelessness and sadness??
Hugs anyone?