I'm so confused...

[vetgirl2424]

I have been going out with this guy for a week. He'll be 20 next week and I'm 18. We get along really well. About 2 months ago he got out of a 3 and a half year relationship. Apparently, only half of her family liked him and they had a lot of disagreements that eventually led him to break up with her... My whole family loves him already...

Last night, after going out to dinner and then going to his house to see a movie he took me home... As we were saying our goodbyes I told him, "I love you." He told me we had only known each other a week so he wasn't too sure about that. I revised it and said, "Okay, put it this way, I have feelings for you." He told me that sounded better. I asked him if he had feelings for me too and he flat out told me, "I don't know, yet."

I really am falling in love with this man, but I don't know if time will tell or if I'll just end up heartbroken...

[miSSleepy]

Too early! He's being sensible by not throwing it all out there or claiming that there is something. And I seriously doubt you yourself are falling in love with him.
Don't take it to heart that he doesn't know yet. He's just come out of a long-term relationship and has known you for a week, that's nothing. Meanwhile, don't ask him anything regarding his feelings for a good while yet. Push too much, be needy too much, and he's outta there.

[ecojeanne]

I can understand, at 18 its likely u have heightened emotions that might make u believe that u are falling in luv. U like him, dont worry about his feelings yet, go with the flow and enjoy....just one more thing when a person hears that from a new partner it makes them think the person is fake....so be careful not to put him off by expressing those feelings just yet.

[Gribble]

I would have dumped you on the spot for saying that.

Way, way, waaaay the hell too early. You need to sit back and reassess the situation. What in the hell is up with you that you suddenly think you're in love after a week? I'm guessing it's because you're a high school girl and you don't know any better. At least, I hope that's all it is.

Just a word of advice, there are few turn offs bigger than telling a guy who barely knows you that you're in love with him. Most guys would politely drop you off at your doorstep, then run for the hills and never speak to you again.

[vetgirl2424]

Umm... just to let you know I'm in college, not high school.

[starbuck]

The L word should never come out of your mouth after a week of knowing someone. Saying it that early not only makes you sound needy, but also disingenuous. You're most likely confusing love with infatuation right now.

Why not relax a bit and have some fun with the relationship for now? You're already worried about getting heartbroken and it's only been a WEEK. Yes, you like him, but right now you need a healthy dose of chill pills.

[lesa]

Never let your date know how you feel if the two of you are not at the same level. Wow, after 1 week...? That's sounds very scary to a person who is not there yet.

Please don't say it again....that's the absolutely best advice.

[ecojeanne]

well ur 18 and thats the point....young...we've all been young... we kno and understand where it came from...but its best to think these things....and NOT actually say them out loud yet....it took me 6 months to tell my ex bf (who i practically saw everyday for the whole 6 mths) that i luved him....because time had passed i knew i hadnt felt the same way about anyone ever in my past and deep down i knew he wanted to be with me and only me...he made me feel secure and luved. in my opinion it does take time to really kno...i mean u havent had a row yet! u need to get to kno him more before u can really honestly say u luv him.

[kene]

That fellow is 100% on the money. I think he responded to what you said perfectly.

[lesa]

Yes, I've been young but I can honestly say I have NEVER told a man that I loved him in such a short time. In fact the man ALWAYS tells me first. I'll never say it first. And I am certainly not feeling or thinking it either in that short time.

Things like this can hurt an otherwise healthy relationship. OUCH! The only combat from this one is to never say it again....I wouldn't even bring it up again if I wanted a chance and not frighten the poor man.

[ecojeanne]

[QUOTE=lesa;368002]Yes, I've been young but I can honestly say I have NEVER told a man that I loved him in such a short time. In fact the man ALWAYS tells me first. I'll never say it first.
QUOTE]

well lesa its great that u have never made that mistake...how about giving a little slack...she's 18....its a learning curve...must have been so wonderful for u to be so confident....im not tryin to get at u....but think about how she might be feelin

[lesa]

well lesa its great that u have never made that mistake...how about giving a little slack...she's 18....its a learning curve...must have been so wonderful for u to be so confident....im not tryin to get at u....but think about how she might be feelin

I wasn't being confident????? I was 18. I understand infatuation but that was a major mistake because she certaintly did not love him but decided to say those serious words. I take those words seriously as did the other posters.

You just don't do that. What did you want me to say? Maybe I can geared my answers for whatever the OP or you may be looking for?

I'm being realistics and men do not like that...well most men.

My advice is to not bring it up again and just start anew. I just want her to really remember to never do that again. It's not about willpower or confidence it's about understanding yourself and what you are feeling so that you are no longer confused about this situation.

[ecojeanne]

why wld u take those words seriously? this forum is about opinions right? i say things how i see them..sometimes my opinion can be wrong..but hey thats what this forum is about....opinions! dont take life so seriously. it seemed like u were kicking a girl when she's down with how sensible u were...i thought this forum was about giving healthy advice? anyway dont hold it against me....i wasnt trying to annoy everyone....i just say what i think.

[lesa]

Not you ecojeanne. I take the word "I love you" very seriously but I understand that not everyone does. It can scare someone who is not used to it away.

I think all will be well. I would not say it again and just enjoy his time.

I think I must have caught what Cain had

[kene]

It is very true, those words can scare people away.

Even though a lot of times it's said not the right way. Lot involves emphasis.... there's a difference between staring someone deep in the eye and romatically saying I love you. And then whimsically saying it, much like someone would say "I love pizza".