I need help with my current relationship.

[pixiemint]

Ok. So I will try to be very specific without boring everyone to death. I dated this guy for 11 months, he was sweet, funny, always put me first before anything and made me feel safe with him in the relationship. To me he was the perfect guy, but after dating him for that long and after a rough month of fighting due to his insecurities, i developed a crush on a new friend i had made, which made me feel guilty and terrible at hiding it. He noticed that i was different for a week and broke up with me without telling me he knew. We spent two months apart i was completely heartbroken and missed him but i thought he did not want to be with me so i started going out with the other guy, which turned out to be a failure since i could not stop crying the entire time. After my ex asked me back several times and i had been upset for 2 months i realized i couldn't let my ego get in the way of us getting back together so we got back together.

The thing is he changed, he became this person who claimed he didn't let things bother him anymore and whether i was with him or not he would be ok, he read this book which made him not take everything so seriously and live in the present. I understand the philosophy and appreciate it but he changed in the way he used to treat me as well. After forgiving each other we have now been together for a month almost and it has been different, he is ok but i am not. It used to be completely equal but now i am the one who is always texting him or initiating contact or saying thinks like : "i miss you" "i love you" which he used to say back but now he barely says them... when i can't take it anymore i tell him how i feel and all he says is: i cannot make u feel better and i do not know what to say to you. Which makes me feel worse, then he says that he loves me and i should believe him. The problem is i do but he barely puts in any effort in the relationship anymore, like he now wants to spend more time alone and not see me all the time and i guess there is nothing wrong with that but that is not how we used to be and i just miss him being all sweet with me. He also has become really sarcastic and makes references that there are plenty of girls out there at whatnot. Tonight we are going to talk because i sent him an email saying how i felt. Am i exaggerating or is he emotionally shut down? Sometimes i think he hasn't forgiven me... because he also doens't want to move in with me anymore and has kept me a secret from his friends, meaning he hasn't told them we got back together, and when i confront him he said: "we will tell them as we see them".

[RockNRoll]

First of all, back off, stop texting/saying "I miss you", etc. Stop initiating things.
You told him about your feeling, well done!

To be honest, I don't like the way he treats you now. Ok, you had that crush on the other guy and you broke up. It could be the end of the story. But he got back together. I am not sure that he forgave you. It looks like he is punishing you now. He had reasons to brake up, but he doesn't have right to be mean to you.
How can he keep you a secret from his friends?!
It is simple and hard at the same time: if you are not happy in relationship with him - get out. It's good that you are having this talk with him. See, how he responds with words and actions. If it doesn't get better, consider breaking up.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Sounds like he's doing exactly what I would do with someone like you(minus the begging)...keeping you around for the ass until he finds someone better or you leave.