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Thread: Is loving him wrong?

  1. #1
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    Is loving him wrong?

    I'm 16 and last August my mom and I started taking tennis lessons (I was 15 when we started, and I'd begun in June, but I had to switch teachers, and my mom wanted to take lessons too). My tennis teacher, Adam is 23, and I think I'm in love with him. For one thing, I'm bipolar, and he's very good at calming me and keeping me normal. Like whenever I get in a bad mood, he always makes me giggle, and I forget why I'm in a bad mood. He really understands me. I feel kinda bad for this, but whenever my mom gets cramps (that time of the month) and she feels too crummy to play, I get to have Adam all to myself. Before lessons start I'm always so nervous around seeing him, but then when they do start, and I've realized that I haven't gotten worse in the day in between lessons, I actually become extroverted and happy (Not that I'm unhappy exactly. I'm just very nervous and might be as thankful as I should be if I hadn't always had what I wanted around the time that I wanted it). Mostly I'm introverted and prim and proper though I don't feel prim and proper and am jealous of slutty girls who always have boyfriends b/c they're so easy. Adam is extremely gorgeous, but that's not as important as his personality: he's a hardworking do gooder, and is very patient, and caring. My heart swells when he says my name, and I can feel heat from the blush slowly sneaking into my cheeks. At our last lesson I was laughing about something (what DON'T I laugh at during tennis) and he said that I was funny b/c I laugh all the time. I wasn't quite sure if it was a compliment so I said thank you in the form of a question, and he said that I was welcome and yes it was a compliment. Then (and I can't quite remember his words to my dismay) something along the lines of how he looks forward to tennis so he can hear my laugh, and that me laughing is the highlight of his week ^^. The problem is that he's seven years older than me, and he loves the 21 year old he's been dating for the past two years. sniffs On facebook his girlfriend asked me to be her friend (I accepted) and she's actually pretty nice. Should I just give up, or keep loving him since I doubt he'll ever pick me over his girlfriend. One day he told me that a 16 year old had asked him out that day at work, and laughingly, I asked him his reply, and that reply was, "No b/c it's illegal and I have a girlfriend/wife."

  2. #2
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    It's a typical teenage crush. You're infatuated; you don't love him. There's no chance here for various reasons. Don't take the situation so seriously. Have fun with your crush. You'll find someone eventually most likely.

  3. #3
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    You are allowed to have a crush on someone but, realistically, you and him probably won't become more than just friends. He has a girlfriend and is much older than you are.

  4. #4
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    The other responses are right. You are infatuated with him, not in love. Teenage Crushes are always the toughest to get over... but you shouldn't try to pursue anything with him.

  5. #5
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    It's not wrong for you to love him, but it would be incredibly wrong for him to encourage it or to be in any way inappropriate with you.
    Spammer Spanker

  6. #6
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    now.. i dont want anyone else except QueenBee answering this reply...but im basically in the exact situation that you are, but ...were together... i mean the way we see it is ...whos to say that u cant date this person just because of their age? or whatever you kno? as long as both of yalls minds are right then i wouldnt see a problem. but i do have some issues with him..but idk.. it just comes with being in a relationship i guess. but i dont think you should sabotage his current relationship.. its not right. but if he has problems in the relationship..feel free to help solve them but dont create them

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by kemosabe View Post
    now.. i dont want anyone else except QueenBee answering this reply...
    Then send her a private message. This ^^^ is not how we do things here.
    Spammer Spanker

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Then send her a private message. This ^^^ is not how we do things here.
    how do i do that..i just made an account..

  9. #9
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    Well, you keep posting. You need 15 posts to send a PM, so you're about halfway there.

    Look, it IS appropriate for people to weigh in on these matters. I, for instance, lost my virginity at 16 to a 23-year-old that I THOUGHT was into me, but he was just using me. People tried to warn me and I wouldn't listen because I felt so happy about being able to attract a "mature" man. I wish I had. A mature man has no interest in 16-year-olds. He was just a dog, and if Adam plays with QB's affection, then he's a dog too, especially because he has a girlfriend.
    Spammer Spanker

  10. #10
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    I don't want to sabatoge his relationship, that's why I think it's wrong, and NO to those people who say I'm just infatuated, b/c I'm not. I've never felt this way about any of my "crushes."

  11. #11
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    Apr 2009
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    If he acted like he wanted to take advantage of me, I wouldn't feel the way I do about him. And he doesn't "play with my affections." If he had ever done that, I WOULDN'T FEEL THE WAY I DO!!!!

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