no contact question

[jason112]

how long did you go with no contact before your girl or guy realize that they wanted to be back with you? its been 2 weeks since i last talked to her and im wondering is that a long time for a girl or not very long at all? and if she does realize it will she call? really interested in knowing how long someone went with no contact and then they contacted you?

thank you

[TAVS]

I dont think two weeks is a lot of time for that. It could be months. What you need to do, is go about your life like it's over. If they contact you, go from there but dont worry about it day after day.

[dprelz]

lol same question i keep asking and same responses.

you will defiantely know, you will not have to decode some email or voice message or anything, it should be explicit.
in the mean time, DO NOT go on with your life thinking she WILL come back, you are setting yourself for a dissapointment. If she loves you, she will come back and then you can decide what you want to do. it could be months, years or never! if you are meant for a 2nd chance you will get it. trust me im going through the EXACT same thing you are going through and I miss her sooo much

[mini696]

First thing, stop thinking that you will get back together.

I have done the "no contact" thing twice. Once it was 3 or 4 months before I even heard from her again and we got back together (we broke up again after 3 months though). The other time.... Well I still haven't heard from her.

Mick

[Jsnowman]

There really is no set time when you might hear from her again. Bottom line is don't wait like everyone has told you. that is the most important issue here. If you sit on your arse waiting, you will set yourself up for dissapointment if she never calls. Keep yourself busy and try to better yourself. That way if she does come back, you will be a better person then you were before she left.
Consequently after I stopped calling my ex to see how she was doing after she dumped me, the longest we would go without talking to each other was around three weeks. Before that time would hit, she would call. It's been seven months since I've seen my ex but actually i'm going to see her this weekend. I thought this day would never come but I'm glad it has.
Good luck to you...give it time.

[TAVS]

Slight hijack -

Jsnowman, good luck. Just make sure to have your thoughts and feelings in order before you go. Make sure this is really a good idea, and if you think it is, be prepared with your plan of action ahead of time and stick to it as best you can.

[jason112]

thanks for the advice. i do miss her and want to call her but after ive read about the no contact thing i wont call her...good luck snowman

[cheazypeaz]

hi, same situation here, i think ive done the wrong thing reading this thread... my girl dumped me but told me there was a chance in the future for us.

i guess i need to give her a break and make no contact, see if she bothers to contact me, i'm pretty sure she will.. at some point .. but i'm not going to get my hopes up.

my only issue is i dont feel comfortable going into another relationship in this current state.. we have only been broken up for about 5 days officialy and it feels like a month, gutted.

[TAVS]

Cheazypeaz - Nothing says you have to get in a new relationship, just dont let thoughts of getting back together ruin the next 3, 6, 9, 12 months or whatever of your life.

[cheazypeaz]

think you misread what i was trying to say, its not that i have to get into a relationship, its that i wouldn't feel comfortable with it after she said we have a chance in the future.

to accept love from a girl is a great feeling, and something i'd like to experience again, as i guess any other guy would. but i dont want to be loved by two girls, thats where i will have big issues.

its like i feel that if i get into a relationship, start loosing feelings for my x completely, then she comes back to me, i would feel like i'd be in such a hard position. i couldn't choose, i really couldn't do it.

[TAVS]

So you're planning to stay single for how long? Forever? I'm in a similar situation..... I believe once my Ex gets things figured out, she'll come back. I'd say....6months to a year from now. But that's not going to keep me single. I intend to date in the mean time. If she doesn't come back, then great. If she does, then I can make that decision when the time comes. I dont think I'd have a problem knowing which woman was more 'right' than me, should I find myself in a position where I had to chose. If that weren't the case, I would always follow my rule.....All else equal, or close to equal, never leave person B just because person A wants you back.

[cheazypeaz]

im thinking a shorter scale problem..

i dont know if i'm going to stay single and wait.. i guess thats a waste of time, alike poeple have said. but i dont want to get 2 weeks into a relationship and not feel in love with a girl, then my x wants me back and i feel thats whats best for me.. then heartbreak the other girl.

maybe im being silly right now, but i honestly dont know what to do or say.. its like i feel so small right now, if ya get me ?

[TAVS]

Of course I get you, just asking questions to make you think. It's a complicated situation that's for sure. I find myself trying to find similar answers; the only difference being I've been dealing with this for 5 months already.

[whitedragon20na]

Well I have to comment on this after all the crap I've been through.
Most everyone here knows what happened to me three months ago and for a while there some felt like punching me in the face because I was being stubborn and not listening.
It will have been three months this Sunday and amazingly I feel so much better. I contacted her two weeks after the break-up and that was the last time up until two weeks ago when I felt comfortable enough to try and be friends again, but apparently she wasn't feeling it because she never called back or answered the phone. I left it at that and I assume she'll never talk to me again. That's what you have to do is accept the fact that most likely she won't come back, because if you don't then you'll just end up disappointed and hurt again. If she wants to talk to you again, then she will and if not, let her go and move on. It took me a long while to actually accept it and deal with it, so time will help, that's for sure.

[Tone]

*sighs*

Just made yourself look desperate...