Excessively High Expectations of Men?

[Shikoika]

I seem to have developed an excessively high expectation of men, and I feel like such a b*tch for it.

I have 2 guys both head over heels for me, both very, very sweet, at least average in looks, and have a lot in common with me... but both also have their irritants (one's clingy and can't hold his alchohol, the other is a big cry baby that is more of a 16 year old girl with his emotions that I ever was even when I was 16)... but over all I know girls that would kill for the kind of attention they are lavishing on me that I am always trying to run away from. I feel so bad about it.

Neither of them are talented enough in the areas I care about, nor attractive enough to hold my physical attention, nor secure and confident enough not to irritate me.

These are things that if another girl said that to me, I would tell her she is being ridiculous and overly critical.

But I can't help that I can't create any feelings for your average guy... but I feel so cold and shallow for it.

Thoughts?

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah its a problem with todays modern man. they watch too much ricky lake and oprah and spend so much time trying to connect with their feminine side that they become almost woman like. They dont realise that most woman want a man that will put her in her place and tell her to stfu occasionally. Most woman also like men with moostaches.

[surfhb]

Can't possibly answer with out seeing a picture of you. You better be hot as hell !! Hahaha

Just drop them both if you're not haPpy....I don't see an issue here

[Cerby]

yeah its a problem with todays modern man. they watch too much ricky lake and oprah and spend so much time trying to connect with their feminine side that they become almost woman like. They dont realise that most woman want a man that will put her in her place and tell her to stfu occasionally. Most woman also like men with moostaches.

I don't think you really have an positive input as you drove your girl to cheat on you. Maybe you too should turn off hte Ricky Lake and get out and fight a bear once in a while.

[TeeJay19]

Maybe you have high expectations, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We feel how we feel and we can't help who we're attracted to. Just because two guys like you doesn't mean you have to pick one of them. If you're not really attracted to either of them you shouldn't start a relationship with one just because you feel like you should be attracted to them. Most likely you'd end up dumping one of them and hurting them even more.

Now, if you go years without dating anyone and find major faults in every man you see then yes, there might be a problem. But just because other women find a man desirable and you don't doesn't mean you have a problem. That guy just isn't for you. If you're patient I'm sure you'll meet someone who you really truly want to be with.

[Shikoika]

I wouldn't call the guys themselves a "problem". Not asking if I should "keep" them or not... more just... your thoughts on expectations of men being high...if it's ok because I just have not met the right one... or if it is unrealistic...

TeeJay, Thank you.

[TeeJay19]

I wouldn't call the guys themselves a "problem". Not asking if I should "keep" them or not... more just... your thoughts on expectations of men being high...if it's ok because I just have not met the right one... or if it is unrealistic...

TeeJay, Thank you.

Yeah, I just don't think you've met the one. Everyone's extpectations are different. Some people may think your expectations are high, you might think others expectations are high.

I personally wouldn't say your expectations are too high. Nobody likes someone who is too clingy, or has the emotional fortitude of a 16 year old girl. Those are definitely legitmate complaints. Some women may be able to put up with that, but you don't want to and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Like I said before, just be patient and I'm sure the right guy will come along

[Shikoika]

Thank you, that made me feel loads better.

[iamaninnocentma]

I don't think you really have an positive input as you drove your girl to cheat on you. Maybe you too should turn off hte Ricky Lake and get out and fight a bear once in a while.

lol, touched a nerve here i think. i wasnt talking about you, altho you are the type i was talking about. Maybe you would be better giving the op advice why guys like you cry at the end of an episode of friends because you think ross and rachel will never make it. And as for my gf cheating on me, it was never proved, so i now prefer to live in ignorance and to be honest, i hope she is because it saves me pumping her once a month. Ive got better things to do with my time thnt try to satisify an unsatisfiable dragon. ps , i could easily fight a bear

[HDBadger]

Nothing wrong with high expectations.

However. If you expect your man to be able to jump through hoops A through Z, I don't believe you have a right to complain in five years if you're single. People are imperfect.

Here's the best way to look at it: Could you meet every single one of the expectations you have for men? If so, then I say your expectations are in line. If not, then I say you're a hypocrite.

[iamaninnocentma]

Nothing wrong with high expectations.

However. If you expect your man to be able to jump through hoops A through Z, I don't believe you have a right to complain in five years if you're single. People are imperfect.

Here's the best way to look at it: Could you meet every single one of the expectations you have for men? If so, then I say your expectations are in line. If not, then I say you're a hypocrite.

Shit just got serious, a hypocrite, you tell her girlfriend.

[Shikoika]

Wow, good thing I'm accomplished in the areas I would like them to be...wouldn't want to be a hypocrite. LOL

You make a good point, though. Has only gone to show that my expectations are not too high, for me, personally...thanks for your input.

[Russell1]

bumb ubm!

[searock]

I don't think there's anything wrong with having high expectation. You just don't settle with any guy that happens to like you, that's a good thing. It means you have self-respect and you don't *need* someone just for the sake of not being alone. It doesn't matter if you're "hot" obviously, your expectations have nothing to do with your appearance. I don't think you're overly critical, you just haven't found a guy you really like yet.

[HeartIsAching]

Not being satisfied with a guy that's too clingy and another that's too whiny isn't having expectations that are too high - it's just recognizing that they're not "Mr. Right." Maybe not even Mr. "Right Now". Hang out... have some laughs... and move on when it's time.


Personally I believe everyone's got a match out there somewhere. The trick is to not already be entangled when you meet them, and to not overlook them because they're maybe not your ideal looks-wise.