How to encourage him without being pushy?

[Denkmal]

Hi there,

I sense a romantic relationship developing between myself and a male friend, and I'm 95% confident that my intuition is correct about it. We're both shy and socially-awkward in many ways, but I spend enough time around guys to know he's interested in my through body language, etc.

At this stage of things I would just normally ask the man out, but I suspect that isn't the right approach with this guy. He's a Virgo, if that means anything to you, and thus rather independent and definitely doesn't take to being pushed, coerced, ordered around or anything of the sort.

I'm also getting the vibe that he's not sure of my feelings, and is too shy to just ask me out without feeling a bit more sure of my intentions.

Any tips on how I can convey that I'm interested and encourage him to pursue me without being pushy, clingy or threatening?

Thanks!

[Wallace Stevens]

For now, avoid putting labels on your relationship. That will solve the coercion and shyness problem. Just ask him what he's doing next Friday, as if you're going to hang out as normal, and later suggest sexual contact and see how that goes.

[Junket]

Ever heard of self fulfilling prophecy?

That's all astrology is.

[vashti]

Why don't you just look him in the eye, and ask "what's a girl got to do to get you to kiss her?"

[ellie]

Yeah. Avoid putting labels. Just hang out with him as usual, but try to flirt, touch him more than usual, intrude his personal space bubble and see how he reacts, when you talk to him you can tease him (playfully), see how he reacts to that.

If you get positive vibes, next time you "hang out" with him, invite him over for dinner/movie and try to get close. Give him opportunities to kiss you, and I think you have to be really obvious. Or just grab him and kiss him lol. Or as Vashti suggest, just ask him straight out. Guys usually don't get subtle hints. Especially if you're already friends.


You won't come across as threatening or clingy, I think you have to make it really clear to him you are interested for him to feel "safe". He is probably just waiting for you to make a move.