Hello.
Sorry if this is long and unclear, I wrote this at a time of anger.
First of all, I'd like to say first that my girlfriend and I love each other very much, have been together for years and normally very happy together.
We have been long distance throughout our relationship, which was made even harder by the fact I served 3 years in the army, but nonetheless we still made it.
Around a year or so ago, at the age of 21, she was diagnosed with gallbladder failure (not gallstones), and was told she would need to have a surgery to have her gallbladder removed.
Her family is poor, and cannot afford to fully fund a surgery themselves, and so here is the tricky part – She has no social security number. No one knows why, her parents applied for it twice after she was born, but they never got it, or something, I'm really not sure on those details. They have been trying to get her a number now, without much luck, as the people at the social security demand a documented proof of existence in the US for every year of her life, since she has passed the age of 18- Something which they can't provide. Apparently not even her birth certificate is good enough for some reason.
Her situation is absolutely ridiculous; she is 22 and has never even had a pelvic exam.
She has had several issues with her teeth and still does, and in numerous other places but she doesn't go because they can't afford it, and she doesn't have the Social Security to apply for any health care program.
They just don't seem to care about, what seem to me, as very basic elementary things that human beings should.
This part was to explain her situation, please do not reply to this, unless you have actual advice on what can be done about it. Please don't comment on how irresponsible her parents were for never getting her a number, I know they were and I am mad at the whole situation myself, very mad.
My point is this – she, and her family have barely done anything about this. Basically, she tried a couple of times, WITHIN this entire year that she had known, to sort things out with the social security. Every time she and her family tried and failed, she just stopped there, ignored it for a few months or so and tried again, after *I* would tell her to get on her ass and do something about it already.
Medicare-wise and Indigent health care doesn't work; she has to have an SS number.
I finally got her to go to Indigent health care a few weeks ago, at that time we thought she doesn't need to have an SS number. Afterwards when she got home, she was pissed off, and told me she can't apply there either (BTW, they had told her that what the SS office is telling her sounds like BS). I then told her that I know it's disappointing, but she can't just leave it alone now for months like she did (I wasn't angry when I said it, I was trying to be as understanding and as kind as I could be). She got mad at me, told me she just can't deal with it right now (Which really made mad, that's honestly acting like a spoiled baby). We made up after she cooled down and she said she'll take care of it. A few weeks have passed now and neither she nor her family has done anything about it.
She claims it's because of travelling time and that her dad can't get off work- Which isn't true. They are poor, and they really do need every bit of money. But seeing how as her grandparents from her dads' side are rich, and her grandparents from her mom's side are the ones EMPLOYING her dad, this doesn't seem reasonable. Especially when her dad took a COUPLE of days off, just to go to a wedding, and he also goes hunting on the weekends. I tell her to call the Social Security guys, hospitals, whoever she can and needs to, but she insists on the fact that it won't do any good, and that they have to actually drive there.
She has had multiple health issues since the gallbladder failure is affecting her everywhere. She is always in pain and she has to take around 6 pills every day!
I have tried talking to her a lot of times, most times she doesn't get mad at me, and says "You're right, I'll talk to my mom and we'll see what to do" but nothing ever gets done.
Their family's Xbox broke a week or so ago, and she has been more on top of that than she has been for her surgery this entire year- making phone calls, talking to this and that, sending emails.
Honestly, I don't even want to hear her complaining that she's hurting sometimes. She does absolutely nothing to help herself, and her family, while they're not abusive or anything and seemingly good parents- they don't really do anything either.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Understand that the advice I'm looking for here is more in regards to how I should talk to her, what should I do regarding our relationship together, and less about the medical and social security side- of course advice is always welcome.
Also, in your opinion, would a DNA test be of any help? Seeing as her entire family (Parents, 2 sisters and a brother) have an SS number except her. (They didn't immigrate, they're all born Americans)
Thank you for your replies in advance, and again, I'm sorry this thread is all over the place.