Originally Posted by
guardog999
Hi everyone - I've been seeing this guy for about six weeks. Everything is perfect - I've met his mother, he's met my parents and friends, calls/texts regularly, makes plans way in advance, always makes time for me even if he's exhausted. There's just one little problem - his dating profile on the website we met is still active! He asked if we could be exclusive when we started sleeping together. While we aren't quite at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, we aren't supposed to be seeing anyone else. When I asked him about his profile being active, he first said "I don't know what to say", "I'm also looking for a boyfriend (jokingly)" and "If I wink at your sister will you get mad?" Basically, just laughing it off. He then wanted to make plans to see me again. I'm totally confused - while he didn't get defensive or angry, he didn't say anything about taking it down either.
I'm totally confused. If I didn't know about him still having a profile, I would think everything is fantastic. What should I do? Should I give him more time and see what he does or should I just outright ask him to take it down?
You know, one of the best ways to deflect attention away from oneself when someone asks you a question that you don't really want to answer is to answer a question with a question. Notice how he deflected back to you by asking you "if I wink at your sister will you get mad?"
Most times when a guy is still logging in regularily it means he is keeping his options open and is likely scouting for new meat while he beds and courts you just in case you turn out to be a dud.
You didn't outright ask him to remove or at least, hide his profile. Why not? If you don't want him on there while you two figure out if you're meant to last the test of time, I suggest you ask him outright to delete or hide. If he won't then you have a decision to make.
Look after your own best emotional interests and if this guy is serious about you he'll delete. If he's just killing time with you, he won't.
Have you noticed any other red flag behaviour from him or is this the first alert?
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion