How does you man make up?

[Spilly]

Ok well I'll start by saying I'm complete confused about what is up with this girl. Her and I started 'officially' dating about 3 months ago but we have hung out alone just going for drives and whatnot for about 7 months, we were friends that became more.

Alright so, her and I have been fine, no great. We spent almost everyday and night together since we started dating, I've spent about 2 nights with the guys. Now the problem is that the last 3 or 4 days have been rough, she seems mad or upset about something and its bothering the hell out of me. She hates when I talk to other girls, which I understand because when we were friends I told her all about my hook ups and their were a few. So I don't talk to other girls, since our relationship is so 'young'. But she always text these guys from a town about an hour away and always asked them to come visit and go jump of the train bridge and shit.

Now thats never bothered me until last night, a friend was having a big bon fire that I wasn't suppose to make it to but I ended up showing up in time to put her to bed as she was wasted but I was using her phone to text a mutual friend when she got a text from her ex, I didn't want to invade on her privacy but I had to look. She invited him to the fire and said it like "you better come see me, bring Pat and John too(2 of her friends)". He never made it out and I was kinda pissed so I took off out quading to the camps. She got all mad at me when I got back and got furious when I bought up her ex. Like this is the first time they've talk since they broke up, like 7 months ago. She was sobber when she was texting him.

What do I do about this? Like I don't feel like I did anything wrong, I never talked to any women, I never did anything unfaithful, I can't see where she has any right to be mad at me. Like tonight I was sitting on the roof where she was babysitting cause I was sick of being ignored but she wanted me there, then she like are you coming in? and I was like maybe in a bit I'm just watching the stars, so she locked me out and I was like what the flying **** is this? so I walk to a friends house and then she got all sad and invited me over for the night, so here I sit as she sleeps beside me, confused as ****.

I'm sick of this, I don't want her to be upset anymore, what should I do?

[nerdy_guy]

Dump her sorry ass. Upset time would be shorter. She's manipulative.

On a side note. people who become defensive for no apparent reason (her reasons included) tend to hide something from you. Watch your back dude.

[lahnnabell]

While you shouldn't have gone snooping, the ex text would've bugged me too. There is a very good chance she meant it in a playful, friendly manner, but regardless, contacting her ex in that manner is still inappropriate. Was he ever an issue that you heard about while you and her were just friends? Considering you guys have shared stories with one another about your pasts, you both have inadvertently set yourself up on a rocky foundation. Couples generally shouldn't share the specifics of their past because it lays the groundwork for these types of issues (jealousy, insecurity, etc.). When you brought up her ex, how did you do it? I'm guessing the manner in which you did was rather accusatory.

The reason she locked you out is a separate issue. Sounds like she was just being pissy. She asked for you to come over while she was babysitting, and you were upset about being ignored, and then she got pissy 'cause you were upset (she probably got that impression, even if she didn't understand why). Her reaction was childish, but you didn't exactly explain how you were feeling did you? You reacted passive-aggressively. So, it kind of left her with the feeling that she needed to do something to get your attention. I'm sure she didn't mean to ignore you. Actually babysitting (taking care of the kids) had to take priority over her cuddling on the couch with you. It wasn't anything personal.

When you left, she got insecure and invited you back. If you ever decide to keep her company while she's babysitting again, keep in mind that she's getting paid to do a job. Not play house with you. Accept that you'll have to take a backseat for a few hours. Or, just don't visit while she's babysitting. Simple.

You guys seem to dance around your issues instead of dealing with them head on. You need to figure out how to talk to one another on an even keel because a strong couple is one where partners can talk to one another and find mutually beneficial solutions to their problems.

[lovefool87]

MY suggestion is, find a woman who is emotionally stable and mature. These things wouldn't be an issue if she were.