Attitude change permanent?

[markmoscow]

I met a girl about 4 months ago. We became friends and started to show interest in each other. We would talk each day for those 4 months. The problem was she was in a relationship that seemed to be ending. I told her she in her own time could decide what to do. All I know is they seemed to be going through an extended rough time. They have been together for 4 years, the last two years not being great. He became irritable often with her during the last two years. Anyway, in the end she decided to give him a last chance and even told him about me. Normally, he would react negatively to such news, but said he understood and has since changed his tune. She even thanked me and said they were able to open up to each other more and get things back on track after 2 hard years. I mentioned she should give her relationship more time to see if this a permanent change. My feeling is these changes are never permanent. Your thoughts?

[TablesandChairs]

You need to stay away because she's in a relationship and has been for 4 years. It's likely she was using you (maybe unintentionally) as an emotional crutch. You don't want to be like the grim reaper waiting around in the shadows in case the relationship dies...what happens in the future between her and her boyfriend is unknown - people go through slumps in their relationship all the time, doesn't mean they'll break up. You shouldn't be waiting around for dooms day.

[markmoscow]

Well written thanks for the input.

[Idainaru]

In my opinion, you have done good thing. The only thing you could done even better is to tell her that right away when you knew she is in RL, and not to mess with her. I always hated 3rd persons. Even if she breaks with him, you would need to wait some period of hers recovery, and start clean with her.