Hey guys, What would you do in my situation?

[imthedjone]

Please bear with me its pretty long.

Ok so its been about two months since me and my ex have been broken up. we date for about five years. we started when she was 16 and I was 20.

You know the first three and a half years were amazing i guess you can say we were kinda on the "hunny moon" phase of the relationship. Ive dated prior girls before her and I never really cared about them the way I did for her. I treated her like a queen, everything she ever wanted I gave to her. Every action, every move I made in my life was based on her because I felt that this was the one for me. She also felt the same way and she as well showed it through her actions.

There were some trust issues and she addressed them to me. I was cheated on in the past and it kinda still haunted me and I didnt want to get hurt again. The one thing she didnt understand is that I trusted her, but not the people around her ie. certain friends and other guys. You know there also sometimes we argued, but hey what coupld doesnt argue from time to time. The one thing I noticed though was that after the "hunnymoon phase" which was after 3 and a half years she started to pick fights with me.

She was not really good at communicating her feelings, so I would approach her about it. I would ask you know if there is something bothering you let me know. She would just brush it off like it was nothing. But she would just keep pushing me away with all the arugments and constant bickering. There was time during this that I wanted to break up with her, but i didnt because i cared for her and thought things would change, so I stuck around.

she was about 20 during this time and i was dreading her turning 21. All my other friends experience their ex-gf leaving them when they turned 21, but I pushed that out of my mind because I thought she was different. Also during this time my grandfather died, and instead of you know being there for me she was kinda not understanding. It was the first time i should her that side of me and I dont think she could handle it, which was really bogus. Also during the griving period of my grandfathers death which was into our fourth year together, she said that she need some experience, which at that point I really didnt care because i was dealing with something more important.

A few months past and she brought it up again. So this time we talked about it. I asked her what do you mean by that. She was like i just need experiences, but she then also said I want to go out but i wont go out without you. She was refering to her turning 21. once she said that it was a sigh of relief, so i thought.

About seventeen days before her birthday, she brought it up again, but this time she was like I need experiences without you. I was so shocked I didnt really know how to respond. Then we got a got into a big arguement and I said a few things out of anger, so I told her lets cool off and take the night off. So she went home, but she called me later like nothing ever happened, and asked me to come over. It was akward being at her house so I told her after a couple hours, im tired and i just want to go home.

We broke up the day after. I called her to talk the next day. Not to drag the story out longer, she pushed my buttons like she new she could backed me into a corner and I walked away. She asked me what about us, and in anger I said there is no us and left. I got home and I realized that you know I could have handled it better. So i called her and apologized and u know cuz I loved her i told her that we can try to work this out. She said no I commiting to this breakup.

I didnt hear from her for about a few days. When i did she told me that she doesnt think i can change and that she didnt want us together anymore. But she also asked me to wait for her, I was like what does that mean? she was like I want you to wait, but if the other person doesnt feel like they can wait anymore we have to be up fron with each other.

So i said ok ill wait. I sent her an email a week later, just to let her know that you know im waiting and that im doing ok and just wishing her the best and to she if she was doing ok, no response. I went away for a week with mutal friends to a lake house. she texts a friend of mine while we were there to tell me to move on, which was bogus.

So I send her another email, kinda like a closure email, at least so I thought. I expected her to respond because she was ultimatley done and I thought she would be mature and at least explain what happened, I got nothing. So her birthday was the next week. I decided that you know ill text her happy bday. So i did, but during this week i had time to mull over the email I sent her and realized that thats not what i really meant. So i sent her an email saying that you know You might be confused and im hear for you if you need im and i said ill wait so that what im going, along with the happy bday, I got nothing.

So right there I decided to stop contact with her. I havent tried talked to her in a little over a month now. I have slipped up and talked to some mutal friends about her while i was kinda drunk at the bar with my friends, but other than that i refuse to contact her again.

So what now should I continue just moving on and forget about her they way that im trying? Everyday she doesnt contat me makes me believe and accept that we will never be back together again. The funny thing is that I still love this girl, and its getting annoying wasting all that energy and love for someone that isnt showing it back.

Now a question to some of the girls out there. When you turned 21 and decieded to part way and want freedom did you ever regret it? I mean my ex just walked away in two weeks and claimed to hve no more feelings or anything towards me. thats crazy to me cuz how do you forget five years in two weeks, thats impossible.

So what should I do I really need advice. For the first time in my life i find a girl that is worth fighting for. I want to fight for her but there is no contact between us. So i just call it quits?

[someguy1984]

You kind of sound like one of those guys who doesn't give the girl much space...Relax a little and leave her alone. If she still has any feelings for you, she will start contacting you...

Honestly, move on and forget about it. She seems immature, or b*tchy overall. Not being their for you when you needed it and suddenly dropping you like a hat. Starting to be bitchy after 3 years, etc...People change, that's life. You two are simply growing apart and i think you can find someone who will treat you A LOT better. Don't dwell on the past...She was only 16...You had to expect something like this was going to happen. She wants to go out and enjoy life and not have to be worried about being tied down in a relationship...She wants to have stupid nights with her g/f's and not have to worry about flirting with another guy, etc...Can you blame her? No...Does it suck for you? Sure...You may have already gone through this phase, or maybe your just not that kind of guy...

I was like her. I had a phase where i needed to go out and be single. I changed in a relationship as well. It's inevitable. Live your life for now and don't keep thinking about her. Focus on school/work or whatever you need to do. She isn't your primary concern right now since it's over...

MOVE ON, seriously. Don't be that guy dwelling over something like this...She was 16 when you started dating!!!! You could have treated her like complete sh*t for those 3 years and she still would have stayed with you!! Give her some time to mature and become who she really is...

[SAVANAH]

I agree, she started out in this relationship way too young and it was a break up waiting to happen....
Im sure she still loves you but she has become someone totally different and what she was looking for 5 years ago she may not be looking for now, take what you have shared with this girl and move on, you are a nice guy and Im sure you'll find someone worth your love and some day you'll look up and be glad she left you.

I know it's hard but you are worth so much more and it's going to be a while before she even thinks about settling down....

About the 21st birthday thing.... I turned 21 a few months ago and am still with my boyfriend and wouldn't have it any other way. but everyone's different and I got to experience so many things in my life before I met my man, so that's probably why things are the way they are!

Move on you find someone better who you'll love with all you have and think how grateful you are to her for letting you go.

[imthedjone]

You kind of sound like one of those guys who doesn't give the girl much space...Relax a little and leave her alone. If she still has any feelings for you, she will start contacting you...

Honestly, move on and forget about it. She seems immature, or b*tchy overall. Not being their for you when you needed it and suddenly dropping you like a hat. Starting to be bitchy after 3 years, etc...People change, that's life. You two are simply growing apart and i think you can find someone who will treat you A LOT better. Don't dwell on the past...She was only 16...You had to expect something like this was going to happen. She wants to go out and enjoy life and not have to be worried about being tied down in a relationship...She wants to have stupid nights with her g/f's and not have to worry about flirting with another guy, etc...Can you blame her? No...Does it suck for you? Sure...You may have already gone through this phase, or maybe your just not that kind of guy...

I was like her. I had a phase where i needed to go out and be single. I changed in a relationship as well. It's inevitable. Live your life for now and don't keep thinking about her. Focus on school/work or whatever you need to do. She isn't your primary concern right now since it's over...

MOVE ON, seriously. Don't be that guy dwelling over something like this...She was 16 when you started dating!!!! You could have treated her like complete sh*t for those 3 years and she still would have stayed with you!! Give her some time to mature and become who she really is...

if given her nothing but space. ive contacted her three times and that was earlier in the break up. i wished her a happy bday and once i got no responses from any of those i stopped texting her. I havent texted her in over two months.

[LonelyEngineer]

Give her space, forget bout her for a while try to focus on ur goals. Ur 25 now so u should think bout ur carrer and get a good job. If she likes u she will get back to you soon or later.

I know how it is, I experienced the same and believe me the best u can do is carry on with ur life, have fun with ur friends meet new girls.

Do NOT go after her, she has decided it so she gotta deal with her choices.

U should have expected that a 16 years old girl woudnt behave the same way as the SAME girl with 21. They change specially in that age, plus she didnt had any other experience when she was with u.

5 years relationship when ur 16 is just bad bad bad cos one of u or both will see that the time has passed by and wont come back so you will try to live what you "lost" so girls end up being sluty and guys becomes superficial. I believe that when ur that young (her age) u cannot have that long relationships, considering she became her "love life" at what 11, 12 ??? U might be her first bf or one of the first...5 years its A LOT of time.

Dont be sad cos it ended, be happy cos it happened and u had ur honnymoon period =D
take it this way and u wont be down.