My girlfriend slept with other guys while we were apart?

[krranger149]

I met this girl a few years ago. Long story short she was my first everything. First kiss and all. First and only girl I ever slept with. We honestly fell in love. I wasn't her first, but third. Her first was a one time thing, when she wanted to rebel against her parents because they gave her no freedom. Her second time she slept with a guy (She was under 18 at the time, he was 26) 3 times, because he threatened her, and blackmailed her. I was her third, and we fell in love. We ended up breaking up because of the long distance circumstances; I felt it was best for us both. We were apart for two years before we got back together. In those two years, the worst thing I did was have a girl on my lap. She however, ended up sleeping with 7 other guys, kissed another guy while she was in a relationship(She says they were distant, and she told him immediately) and had even caught an STD (Which she no longer has, she got it treated, and I personally saw the results). She had sex with a few of these guys multiple times, and it's hard for me to handle, since she still is my first and only girl, and we only did it once. She tells me she truly regrets it, that she was just looking for someone who loved her the way I did, and she wanted to feel the connection that me and her had felt. She says she never enjoyed it (But I don't see how that is, seeing she had sex over 30 times at least). She tells me I was her best. Also a few weeks ago I found out that someone she told me she was JUST good friends with, was actually an ex she slept with. She promised me a few weeks prior she didn't talk to her exes any longer. I found out when we were in an argument when I called so we could solve things, and she told me she was talking to him on the phone.(It was at 2:00 A.M.) I asked, and she cried and told me the truth. She says they are just friends, and she needed someone to talk to, but she still lied to me about him. She also went out of state to see her sister, and visited him while we were dating(I still thought he was just a friend.) She tells me she didn't do anything with him, and she says she shouldn't have hung out with him, but it still makes me uncomfortable. She tells me she has stopped talking to him, and she did remove him from her facebook. But now I know the face name, and even talked to one of the guy's who she slept with. It's very difficult for me, and I'm not sure what to do. I love this girl with all my heart, and we both want to get married, but her past greatly bothers me.

[Zaz01]

7 guys in 2 years isn't outrageous. But I suposse it wouldn't matter to you if it were 3 or 4...it would still bother you.
Did you hit on other girls while you were apart?
Nothing wrong with what she did. Especially because you ended things.

[dem862]

Well, it sounds like she enjoys having sex. She would probably provide you with some good sex, but she doesn't sound like girlfriend material because she is not trustworthy. If you can seperate your emotions and just enjoy the sex, you might have some fun with her, provided you are careful about STDs. If you can't, you are better off letting her go, grieving your loss, and continuing your search for a girl you can trust.

[michelle23]

she wasnt with you at the time so she was single which means she can do what she wants. however she doesnt sound trustworthy as a girlfriend so you should just forget her and focus on meeting someone else. it sounds like there are a lot of guys in her life and she loves the attention so your better off without her

[smackie9]

Dude it's simple....you fell in love with the wrong girl. There is nothing to change your situation but to delete her from your life. Time to let go. Just because she was your first doesn't mean she should be your last. You are young and have plenty of time to meet someone who is right for you. This was just a bad choice and we have all made them too. It's how we learn about ourselves, and it makes us grow a little more wiser. Take it from me life does continue on, when you leave the trash behind.

[searock]

I don't get it: she didn't cheat on you, right? She wasn't your girlfriend in those 2 years, so she was free to do whatever she wanted. If this is a problem for you, then you have issues of your own.

However, she shouldn't have lied to you about that guy. Even though she did it because she knew you would have freaked out for no reason, she still shouldn't have lied.

It sounds to me that you two are fundamentally incompatible. I think you should break up with her and find a girl that shares your radical values about sex.