Here is a very tough delimma

[bhentges]

Ok...I've been dating this girl for almost a year now. We have a lot in common and we both want to get married in the future. I am 22 she is 19 and right now im finishing up my last year at college. She is at a tech school so she has about the same time as I do to finish. We'll we were both planning on moving out of Wisconsin when we graduated cause I hate it here and I cant wait to move.
Heres the problem:
She originally was a interior design major but I all of a sudden get a call this morning saying she wants to be a nursing major. Ok fine. But then she tells me there is a 4-5 year waiting list plus all the other classes and tests you need to take. I am trying to contain my composure here and show support but deep down inside im furious because she makes me feel like im on a rollercoaster with emotions all the time.
I was planning on moving and now if i wanted to stay with this girl, i'd have to stay here for at least another 5 years. I would be 27-28 years old and she would be 25. I really dont want to stay in Wisconsin, I want to find a job in Arizona. But now im stuck in a delimma deciding whats more important....

I love her with all my heart but nursing is going to big time interfere. The hard courses, hw calling at all times of the day, i mean i'll probably never see her. Im just really sad right now. I dont know what to do or what to think

[Lloyd95]

News flash: they have nurses (and nursing schools) outside of Wisconsin. hard to believe, but true.

[bhentges]

yes i know thats what im trying to tell her. But then we run into this problem: Im still finishing up my last year here in wisconsin in school and shes in school trying to at least get her generals out of the way...So there are waiting lists basically wherever you go and the later you get on that list(after moving and etc etc) the longer shes gonna have to wait. So if we moved first and everything...she couldnt get on a waiting list for another 1-2 years then and then end up waiting another 4. Thats not fair to her.

[Arx Fatalis]

yes i know thats what im trying to tell her. But then we run into this problem: Im still finishing up my last year here in wisconsin in school and shes in school trying to at least get her generals out of the way...So there are waiting lists basically wherever you go and the later you get on that list(after moving and etc etc) the longer shes gonna have to wait. So if we moved first and everything...she couldnt get on a waiting list for another 1-2 years then and then end up waiting another 4. Thats not fair to her.

come on man show some balls is it really fair for her to change her mind at the last minute knowing you were both planning to move real soon? you should set her in her place if she wants it move then make her wait

[vashti]

Are you kidding me? Nursing is a much better major than interior design. She will actually be employable as a nurse. She is only 19 - she is too young to be playing house with you anyway. If you are so bothered that she wants to make a career for herself, then move on.

Damn, some of you guys can be so selfish.

[TAVS]

I agree with Shh!

If you consider this to be a tough decision; you two should move on with your lifes separately.

[Arx Fatalis]

Are you kidding me? Nursing is a much better major than interior design. She will actually be employable as a nurse. She is only 19 - she is too young to be playing house with you anyway. If you are so bothered that she wants to make a career for herself, then move on.

Damn, some of you guys can be so selfish.

how is it selfish? it was planned before she wanted to start her nursing frenzy the way i see it she's being selfish and if she loved him she'd wait

and just about every girl out there is selfish

[Tone]

WHAT??

It's VERY selfish on his part... her deciding interior design isn't what she wants to do for the rest of her LIFE vs him wanting to move???

You think she should just STICK with interior design and forget wanting to be a nurse JUST so they can stick to HIS plan of moving out of Wisconsin by the end of the year??? That's ridiculous. What a prick you are, OP, and the guy above me.

Wherever she is SHOULD be where you WANT to be.. you should be willing to stick it out, just because that's what is best for her. But you'd rather her sacrifice her future, something she's passionate about, all for your own selfish wants.

I am trying to contain my composure here and show support but deep down inside im furious because she makes me feel like im on a rollercoaster with emotions all the time.

That's not her problem - that's YOUR FAULT! You're just mad cause you want to leave, you're not even stopping to think about HER and what's best for HER future.. it's all about me me me me me me.

What a jerk.

[bhentges]

yeah if anything im the most understanding person. As time goes on its everything "her her her her her" its her way or the highway. Its like i dont even have a part in a decision anymore. I am certainly NOT a selfish person. Answer this in honesty "would any of you sit around WAITING for 4-5 years!!?" That means I will have to find a job obviously in wisconsin if i wait. If i get a job here and get started for 4-5 years...i'll be so deep in i'll never be able to get out without sacrificing too much.

[Lloyd95]

it's all about me me me me me me.

Tone, what do you have to do with their situation?

[Tone]

LoL Lloyd.

yes i know thats what im trying to tell her. But then we run into this problem: Im still finishing up my last year here in wisconsin in school and shes in school trying to at least get her generals out of the way...So there are waiting lists basically wherever you go and the later you get on that list(after moving and etc etc) the longer shes gonna have to wait. So if we moved first and everything...she couldnt get on a waiting list for another 1-2 years then and then end up waiting another 4. Thats not fair to her.

Huh? So why can't you guys decide where you want to move (Arizona) and have her apply NOW so that by the time you guys move she'll still be only a couple years out?

[bhentges]

Posted by TONE
"Wherever she is SHOULD be where you WANT to be.."

oh ok. So she gets to pick wherever she wants to go and i just follow right? if you ask me, your the prick. 2 PEOPLE JOIN TOGETHER in a decision...1 shouldnt be more powerful than the other.

[bhentges]

postd by TONE
Huh? So why can't you guys decide where you want to move (Arizona) and have her apply NOW so that by the time you guys move she'll still be only a couple years out?

Well because she isnt sure what college she wants to go to...let alone even if it is arizona. I just threw arizona out there as a example of how far away from Wisconsin we want to move. It could be anywhere though....

[Arx Fatalis]

im a prick? how the **** am i a prick? tone you must be pussy whiped sure what she wants is important but if the plan was to move as soon as she got finished then why should she be able to change her mind and have that delayed when she can simply wait and go to school elsewhere? there is no way my girlfriend would go back on something that was decided even if she wanted to do something else first so in theory it makes his g/f selfish just like all girls sure it's not right to be a total ass about it but should he be happy and supportive if moving was decided on FIRSTLY and her nurse frenzy just came up..NO so take ur bullshit advice elsewhere tone

[TAVS]

yeah if anything im the most understanding person. As time goes on its everything "her her her her her" its her way or the highway. Its like i dont even have a part in a decision anymore.

I can feel you. We dont know a lot about your relationship but if that's true there could be a bigger problem.

I am certainly NOT a selfish person. Answer this in honesty "would any of you sit around WAITING for 4-5 years!!?" That means I will have to find a job obviously in wisconsin if i wait. If i get a job here and get started for 4-5 years...i'll be so deep in i'll never be able to get out without sacrificing too much.

It would suck to wait 4-5yrs but if she's the one for you; it shouldn't matter. And what's this about a job thing? This is 2006; nobody works the same job for more than 3-5 yrs before they move on. You don't sacrafice anything. Get a job at 40K work up to 50K. Now you're worth 50K wherever you go (generally speaking)