Originally Posted by
Shinto
Hi everyone,
I'm 21 and student and have been interested in this girl for some months. I haven't had a single girlfriend in my life so I'm totally unexperienced. I always get extremely nervous around her and I have a hard time being being myself and finding the words when talking to girls I'm interested in.
Even though I never noticed her looking at me more than two or three times, there were a few situations that got me thinking. Let me tell you I'm pretty sure that before this happened, she already noticed that I was behaving different around her and that I have been looking at her every now and then..
So 2 weeks ago; We were boarding the same subway, I was in front of her, entered and sat down. When turning around I noticed she was right behind me, and she sat down right in front of me. If she didn't know me at all that wouldn't have meant anything, but I think she knew I was acting different around her; cause there were a few occasions when I was looking at her and she was looking back in a way that told me "I noticed you".
So as experience from the past I knew that if I didn't approach her, nothing was going to happen. So I took all my courage and talked to her last Wednesday. It was near the subway station where only a few people were around, though on the way I passed my female friend and showed her a strange reaction when she asked what was up, but that later.
Her friends were not around so I started the "conversation";
"Hi, umm.. do you have a moment?"
"Yea, but I do want to get the next subway"
"Okay, umm.. I've noticed you a couple of times and I'm interested in you. Would you mind... not right now, but maybe in vacations?"
"Rather not"
"Hm.. okay.. (hiatus). By the way, I've noticed you drawing a couple of times; I've always wanted to learn to draw too. Have you been doing that for a longer time?"
"(short, quiet laugh) Yea, I started some years ago."
"I see.. (hiatus..) But you don't want to.."
"Rather not"
"Okay.."
Well yeah, that was pretty much it. As I said I was extremely nervous and she probably noticed that. The words failed me and I didn't really talk about what I wanted to. Also notice how I didn't really ask her anything about if she wanted to get to know me/meet some time. Though she answered "rather not" on this unspoken question.
So I thought I got turned down and was all depressed the rest of the day.
Now comes what totally confuses me:
Information beforehand: Tuesday, Thursday and Friday we usually take the same subway in the morning.
On the next day, last Thursday, when I was boarding the subway in the morning, she was sitting near the door, reading as usually, and she noticed me, looked at me and smiled. My reaction was kind of bad, I didn't smile back, turned away and stood with my back turned to her for the rest of the ride.
Before the lecture began, I though I'd try and sit down one seat in front of where she usually sits (she did not enter the room yet). A bit later she entered, her friends were not there this day, so she was alone. I heard her stop before she sat down. She probably didn't know what to do either, when she saw me sit right before where she usually does; but then she sat down right behind me anyway. The room was still almost empty at the time, but I didn't think much of it, because as I said, it's where she always sits.
So after the lecture was over we both had about 1:15 hours break, which we usually spend at the cafe with our friends. I thought she wouldn't come to the cafe this day though, because she never did when her friends were not present.
So I sat down at the corner of a table at the corner of the cafe, facing the wall, so I didn't see any other tables, just that single empty seat right beside me, which was less than 1 meter away. That female friend I mentioned before who noticed my strange behavior was sitting beside me.
So all of a sudden I see her to my right and she sat down on exactly that only seat which I could see in the whole cafe, her back halfwards turned towards me, and started reading her book. Now there's about 10 tables in the cafe, of which 6 were completely empty at the time, with 5 of them outside my field of vision.
So I was totally confused and started asking myself "why is she sitting like right beside me when she turned me down yesterday?"
Then I had a conversation with this female friend of mine, part of which she could probably hear, as she was sitting pretty close.
So my female friend started asking me about why I was acting so strange yesterday and started guessing
"You didn't like confess to a girl yesterday and got turned down did you?"
I was silent for a short time but then answered "Yea.."
"Ohh.. So I wasn't wrong! Could it be she's sitting somewhere around here?"
So I pointed at her.
"I knew it! You like ignored me yesterday and started talking to her and I was all confused what was up."
And she pretty much confirmed my thoughts:
"But did you notice? The cafe is almost empty, so why is she sitting like right beside you? And didn't she sit behind you at the lecture where almost all of the seats around were empty too?"
The start of this conversation was a bit louder, later on we started talking a bit more quiet.
The break was eventually over but she sat there reading, doing some homework, then reading again for the whole 1:15 hours.
Then we went to different lectures and I didn't see her since. Not on Friday either, because I had an exam for the whole day somewhere else.
Next time I'll see her will be on Tuesday. We both have the same exam on Thursday and starting one week later there'll be 7 weeks of vacation where I won't see her if nothing else happens.
I don't understand anything anymore. My first approach to her was kind of bad and I thought she'd turned me down, but then she smiles at me the next day and sits almost right beside me when half of the cafe was empty for 1:15 hours.
What am I supposed to do?
I feel tempted to try talking to her again, hopefully I won't lose the words and be that nervous again, so we can have a conversation. I was kind of ready to give up, but not when she's like giving me signals not to? We could have a chat but at the end I'd really like to tell her I want to get to know her and ask if she'd like to exchange numbers and meet in vacations.
I'd be really grateful for some advice.
A few female opinions would really help too.. any idea she would behave like that?