We broke up, but still mixed messages?

[Sambal]

Hello everybody!

Wednesday I've been dumped by my boyfriend from 1,5 years after a month of doubts, where we were still trying, but not seeing each other all too much. He didn't have faith in our relationship anymore, didn't think it worked by trying this way. But... He asked me to come watch a movie at his home in 4 weeks, so we can talk how we go further, if we can pick things up or if we stay friends or if we don't see each other anymore. He also said that if he really missed me in between, he would be honest about it and we would pick up the relationship again. "Because otherwise I would only screw myselve with it." And that he also hurts, but he didn't want me to have false hope.

I really don't know how I have to see this? He asked me to stay, so I stayed until Friday morning. We talked to each other on the phone for a little bit that afternoon to get things clearer and he sent me a message with ''hug hug ''. He told me to help him remember to sent me some pictures from our holiday in Rome, so Sunday I did... And he sent 8 photo's: "If you want more, just tell me. Let me know. Xx''

I almost thought he is already over me, but that's almost not possible, because he cried and I never caught him beeing dishonest, so I do believe he wants to see if we can reconile. He would call me if he wants to see me before the movie, if he knows for sure he wants to be with me again.

Now I'm going to try not to contact him for at least 3 weeks... And see if he contacts me. But if he does, is that already a sign he misses me or could it also be a sign he is already over me and just wants to be nice?

Oh, and he did say: "I still like you very much, you're not in my way, we always have an amazing time... But I just don't know if I have the faith right now. It has nothing to do with other girls or something like that, I can't even think about a new relationship. First I really need to get my life back on track." (He just graduaded from college and doesn't know what he wants to do next. And he wants to move, have a place of his own.)

So I'm confused. What can I do best to get him back with me? Is there any chance for us? Are there any signs in the next few weeks so I can see how he thinks about it?

It's not like I'm going to sit and wait for him, it's not like that, I'm doing loads of fun things the next few days... But I do want it to work out for us. Maybe I'll sent him this mini photobook with a photograph for each month we were together and a funny anekdote, things we did that month. Like how we met, our first time, our holidays together, the wild evenings... Maybe it will trigger the nice memories we had in stead of the doubts he has.

Thanks.

[Boisdevie]

He dumped you? So tell him to fark off

[smackie9]

Most relationships have an expiry date. Things have changed in his life, your relationship has gone stagnant, and he isn't feeling it like it was......sometimes it's just better to call it quits. He may miss you but that comes with adjusting to life without you and it may take a month or so.

#1 reason guys bail out of relationships is boredom. When they get bored, the desire drops off, they go distant, some cheat, but your guy is nice and broke up with you on honest terms.

Time is all you have. They say guys need a time line of about 3 months to change their mind. So depending on you, no contact at all, leave him be, maybe he will come around maybe not, but there is nothing else you can do to change it.

[Sambal]

Not so heart broken? Even he cried, twice, while he hasn't cried for over five years. Not even when he broke off his relationship with his ex-girlfriend before me. But I had a month to think about what I want, and I want him. He isn't certain of what he wants, and that's why he wants to see each other again in four weeks. He says the best thing to do when we really break things off, is not to have contact, and also not to see each other. So why would he bother then?

I don't believe in the familiarity and the comfort. If things with me doesn't work out, he doesn't even want to be in another relationship for a while. And I believe him. He is perfectly capable of being on his own, and so am I. He wants to see me even if it doesn't work out, but I only want that if it does work out because I can't befriend him. It already was a little better, he also said that. I'm not going to explain all the reasons, we know them, and I know we can overcome them. But well, we can only find out if he indeed is going to miss me. Because otherwise we won't even give it a chance. But well, we both know the issues, what went wrong.

And me? I do see him in my future, if he's going to miss me and thus willing to give it another try. I do miss him. I do want him for who he is, not for the comfort, because I can get that elsewhere (he knows that too, he even asked me not to see R., a guy I text sometimes... Even though I already told him I don't have any feelings for him and I would quit with the contact if it really bothered him. But my point is, if I want, I could go with him, but I don't. I want my boyfriend.)

And we are going to watch that movie together in a month. He says he always has a good time with me, so...