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Thread: She just being friendly or something more?? THIS WILL BE VERY LONG *warning*

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1

    She just being friendly or something more?? THIS WILL BE VERY LONG *warning*

    First of all i want to introduce myself im a 19 year old asian male, who recently moved to South Korea, after a huge depression which consist of breakin up with my long time girlfriend, my friends death, school grades, acne, etc. which caused me my downfall. So i got the heck out of the USA too start a new life. I still had self-esteem issue, but it has gotten alot better recently..I been reading alot of dating advice sites (lol i know its pathetic) since i have been out of the game for ages.. last time i dated is when i was 15. Anyways i just recently met this very cute girl at work (im the son's owner) She's 1 year younger than i am. Im very interested in her, but like usual im interested in most girls i have been in contacted with probably because how lonely i am. I get mad at myself as she has a boyfriend and is a co-worker.... I know those are the 2 no-no's of trying to get a girl, but all's fair in love and war right?
    But to make it worse, her boyfriend works nextdoor..But on the bright side hes going to the Army in 2 months as it is mandatory in S.Korea for 2 years of army services, me on the other hand im a USA citizen but full korean blood, i do not need to attend the Army.

    Luckily, im naturally a funny guy, so it isnt really hard for me to make people laugh, which i think is a bonus for me. I act very confident around her, i do not act like i need her around me 24/7.
    The first day i met her i jsut found her attractive thats about it, didnt really wanted to go into a relationship or whatever with her. But, something that actually really sparked my interest towards this girl, was this one day.. while i was walking my way to work i saw her at the busstop (very random) we waved at each other and i was about go on my merry way (NOTE: this was the 2nd day i knew her so i really didnt talk to her) She told me to sit and wait with her for the bus cause it was cold! and im like sure, and i waited she leaned on me cause it was cold i guess i should of offered my jacket but i pussed out... anyways she textes me later saying thanks for waiting with me.
    The next couple days as we got closer...
    i flirt with her at times.. for example she would ask me what shoe looks better on me, i would just say everything looks good on you, your a cutie, etc. But also i would make jokin comments about her too, for example she asked me dont i look like *insert model name* i would say in a joking way no ur too ugly haha , she would respond with a Laff and a slight hit on my arm. I dont want to come off desperate, me clinging to her every need and i dont want to be the nice guy who finishes last. One thing which annoys greatly is when she brings up her boyfriend at times when im flirting with her.. Is she giving me a sign to back up buddy? or is she just feeling guilty?? or...??? The other nite i made a bet with her if i could sell this item she would have to buy me dinner and if she sold this i would buy her whatever, she laughed and said what about *insert boyfriends name* i said who cares? She laughed.. later on that nite, she actually sold the item im suppose to sell (go figure) so i asked her so where you gonna take me out to eat? She responded "i sold the item though!" i said fine then ill buy dinner, she laughed and said ok and then said im a buy something expensive and giggled. She askes me occasionally if im coming to work tomorrow?? and if i say Yes, she goes ooh k we can have fun and talk! and smiles.. She never textes me, or calls.. i dont want to sound desperate and text and call her too, i want to show her im a busy person and her liking me or not is not the end of the world too me.. (which in actuality it is). Also im not friend with her boyfriend i do know him but he is soo annoying maybe its cause im jealous? Its not like he has looks,money,power, or anything... hes 6'1 and weighs 130.. i could tear him in half.. How can i break her away from her boyfriend.. i dont have the patient or mentality to wait 2 months for them to break up......Please help... Should i just keep doing the friends thing.. At times i have feelings she is interested in me but also i think it could be my over active imagination.. For example ( i know sorry i said "for example" like 50 times) Last nite i asked if she could sing, she said in a joking way yes im like alicia keys and then we ranted for couple of minutes and said we should go to a Karokae Bar (singing place) then she looked at me.. i was actually suprised.. i paused for around 2-3 seconds right as i said sure why not.. she went to panic mode just like how i did.. for that few seconds.. i could tell by her face expression... she then said her boyfriends name. and 3-4 other ppl who work with us.. which was overboard in my opinion...

    Btw... even though i still lack confidence i fake it greatly... nobody really knows what i been through.. Actually i cant even tell if this is real confidence or me faking it as its been soo long maybe its a blur between the 2... If you get my drift.. I just get mad at myself that guy is such a ****ing loser... (pardon my french)

    He's uneducated he goes to a 2 year college working at a shoe store at the age of 19 (pathetic)

    He's no damn brad pitt for sure.. hes pretty ugly in my opinion.

    He's a smoker and drinker , he went to the hospital cause he drunk himself to death (almost)

    Hes 6'1 and weighs 130 pounds... wow.. sad

    He tells me at times hes worried that his girlfriend will leave him when he joins the army..

    Their's a saying in South Korea, once u get dragged off into the army the girls will leave for another man.. And mostly its true..
    2 years of army with only 2 weeks of vistin period?? in that time of period? who wouldnt? plus their young

    Any advice would be greatly appericated??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Northern Virginia, United States
    Posts
    276
    wow i read this all.

    before i say anything about what you're talking about, just because the guy goes to a 2 year college doesn't mean he's uneducated. for all we know, he could be transferring to a 4-year university or he may be not financially well off so he working while going to school. i work as a salesman and go to a 2 year college and will transfer to a 4-year because the cost is much lower than going to a 4-year automatically. he also could be joining the army because he can't afford a 4-year university, so he needs the benefits.


    now back to the thing on hand.

    1.) i'd hate to break it to you, she probably already knows that you like her. many women give off subtle hints that most of us don't pick up. the fact she mentions her boyfriend occasionally and never calls you is most likely a sign that she thinks you're cool, but doesn't like you in a romantic way. but what i'd suggest doing is stay as friends with her. she obviously does NOT hate you or anything, she's just not interested in you as more than a friend, at least right now. you can wait if you're really interested in her. 2 months is not that long for him to join the army.

    2.) don't commit yourself to one girl and openly look for other girls that you could potentially date. it's quite a long shot to even be successful with this girl at this moment. if you open up to other possible girls and not focus on one, you won't end up thinking bad things about yourself and being depressed over a girl. there are so many, especially since were both in college. why commit yourself to one?

    3.) don't try to break them up. it won't work. i tried before firsthand because i didn't think, like you. if you try to pull her away from her bf, it will only cause you to make their bond stronger. just let their relationship run its course. it will probably end up failing anyway in the long run for reasons you already probably know.

    in the end, the most you can do is just be friends with her. when you actually see a hint more profound from her, you'll know she is interested in you intimately-speaking. don't end the friendship you have so far if you really want to be with this girl. but also, open up your range of possible dateable girls so you don't end up falling on your face. you can recover quite quickly and think about it: if one girl isn't interested in you, just move on to the next. committing to one girl at age 19 and in college just doesn't make sense.
    [url]www.myspace.com/michael_does_not_like_you[/url]

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