Why am I always friend zoned?

[Mudkip]

Ok well reason I’m asking is because I’m always friend zoned. By all the girls. My mates joke I’m ash ketchum level in friend zone lol
Its not just girls that I’m friends with just aren’t interested. It is that I’m full blown friend zone.
Ok for example one of my friends who is a girl came round last week. And she really likes to look and hold all my animals. So she was holding one of my frogs and then it jumped on her errm boobs. And hers are quite large.
So me being super awkward go “eerm you know where he is right?” and she goes “yeah” I say “if you want him to go back then you can pass him over if you want” and she says “you can just get him. Just get him already” so I awkwardly get him trying not to touch them but I accidently touched him as he wouldn’t let go lol. I say sorry and she says it no problem she don’t mind it. so after me being a bit more awkward we just carry on and get some pizza and watch women in black lol
But yeah to me I’m friend zoned. And its generally like that with every girl I become with. Only one over is ok with me touching in a non-sexual manner like the time I explained. Then the rest just generally chill and aren’t too fussed what they wear around me.
I even got invited to a sleep over -_- and turned out I was the only guy.
So yeah I am friend zoned but not 100% sure how I get myself in the friend zone. My guy mates all say “its because I’m too nice. If I want to get a girl I need to be a little bit of a douche. Not a douche but a bit of one if that makes sense”
So I ask them (the girls) if they think I’m gay. Just in case if that what it was. Every single one of them said no and where very surprised/confused to why I would even need to ask.
So its not that. So I am wondering if I’m too nice.
I am the one everyone goes to talk to about their problems (both male and female) though most of the time it’s the girls. I’m very much I make sure that I’m there for any of my friends if they have a problem and give my input on it.
I was wondering why its me everyone goes to it seems and its basically they say its because I’m not an ass hole about it but at the same time I’m very blunt. I say what I mean and how it is. And then my advice I give to them works nearly all the time and the few times it didn’t quite work nothing bad came of it and things sorted them self’s out.
I generally help out if I can or got time but to me that’s just what friends do.
But yeah I’m wondering if I am too nice and what to do about it.
What got me to finally ask is last weekend we all went out to the zoo and this girl I’m friends with (been friends with for 7 years) that I really have like for last 3 or so years come up to me and starts a “tickle war” with me -_- then asks for a piggy back ride as she couldn’t see the animals due to all the people in the way (she is quite short, about 4 foot 7inch but as one of my mates say is in proportion and he says hot lol ) and my mates say to me when the girls are in the shop “loving that grim face you had their when you gave (blank) that piggy back ride” when laughing and another said “that look you had on your face when she asked for the ride. You knew your where officially friend zoned lol”
So yeah anything I can do? I’m going to college and about 6 months so want to try and get a girlfriend that I really like and not be friend zoned.
Men advice welcomed but I think womens would be better as they can probably see where I’m going wrong better.
Cheers peeps

[basilandthyme]

I suspect that it's not about you being 'too nice' but it's more about you hiding your sexual self. The girl with the frog on her boobs? There were so many innuendos and sexy jokes and flirts you could have made (eg; "You know this is the highlight of my week") but instead you were all awkward and didn't at all take advantage of the opportunity.

I can't speak for all women... but if I am to see a man as boyfriend potential, I've got to be able to imagine myself in bed with him. He needs to show his sexy side to me and show that he desires me. It's about me feeling like a woman when I'm with him and not just a mate.

[smackie9]

You are awkward, women want confidence, be at ease around women, witty, show sexual desire, openly flirty. How to get out of the friends zone? You need to change.

[Mudkip]

Ok so do you think that was a flirting thing she was doing?
My main problem with that time (with the frog) I think was the fact the reason I was super awkward was as all I could think off was what if? and why? and I was like what if she's joking? What if the frog moves and I get something else if you get what I mean?
But honestly had no idea what to do and even if she was being serious.
When her (the girl in the frog thing) and my best mate where out because we are sad lol we where talking about the zombie apocalypse (My best mate and the girl are full blown zombie nerds and I'm zombie nerd but know its never going to happen lol ) and they both where saying how I'm very much a what if person and they are act in the moment people.
I am very mildly autistic. Most people don't even know unless I say.
The only autistic trait is that I need a plan. I have no problem if it changes. I just need to know it changed.
And so I had in my head at the time loads of scenarios going on in my head from just getting the frog and that being it. to the frog moving i trip over and police are called for sexual assault lol
But yeah so basically be more confident and not over think things and hopefully I got a chance next year?
Cheers and sorry for the late reply (I got a leopard gecko dumped on me so getting that setup)

[smackie9]

Ohhh ever watch the walking dead? I'm a huge fan.

We sit around at work and discuss that crap too. I think I would be a bad ass if it ever happened.

[Mudkip]

Ohhh ever watch the walking dead? I'm a huge fan.

We sit around at work and discuss that crap too. I think I would be a bad ass if it ever happened.

Of course
She's coming to mine tomorrow to see the season finally
we got it planned lol
For example if it happened at school we would get together with some of our friends. We got a fire arms and mechanic expert who is my best mate I was talking about. I hunter who is one of my mates who is a farmer’s son, two swords men (me with kendo and one of our other mates who uses medieval swords and enters contests), a ninja lol but one of my mates is going to be tested for his black belt in karate and another whos just a tank (rugby player) and then we got a bunch of girls who are our friends. We will have to teach them how to survive
Got gear planned and even a base (one of the ww2 pill boxs 10m by a river but is to high for flooding. Protected by river 2 sides and a forest to another side. Not too far from a farm with horses and also I got my dog. Trained in basic obedience as well as agility. Also guard (I trained her so when I say watch it then she goes full alert and to stand and “point” in the direction in the noise) also track, crawl and off leash running to heel. (my granddad used to train attack dogs in the RAF. Served in a war involving (don’t quote me on this. I’ll need to double check) Israel and I think Greece. It was I think in the 60s or 70s if I remember right. yeah we are sad lol but set lol
The joys of being young lol

[basilandthyme]

So you're an Aspie? That explains what's going on for you

Glad to hear she's coming over for a Walking Dead marathon. Do you have a plan for how to get your arm around her?

[Mudkip]

not intentionally. But that is stuff we often do. A lot of people think we are going out as we get on and have a lot of physical contact but honestly I'm not sure what she thinks on the whole thing really. I'm thinking to her she's just thinking its cause we are good friends I bet :/
She fell asleep one time with her head on my shoulder when we had some mates around. And they (the guys) asked if we were going out. I said no and they were like ahh... I see. the girls found it amusing and sweet/cute lol

- - - Updated - - -

The main thing that gets me confused is well part of my thing I got but also she seems to send mixed messages. Well they seem that way to me at least.
We are very physical (not sexually but I mean hugging and stuff like that) she sometimes (in a jokingly manner) tease me. I partly wasn't sure if with the frog thing was teasing or not. We spend a lot of time together both with friends and alone. Like in the Christmas holidays after Christmas her mum went to see her aunt (Her aunt don't like her) and so she spent 5 days over mine. And when watching Fullmetal alchemist brother hood (the good one lol ) she randomly said after school and stuff we should rent an apartment together. Which completely baffled me. She didn't say any more on it and hasn't since. never mentioned it before. She's one of those who if she has something on her mind she will just say it.
But then she will talk about other guys she likes or her BF if she got one to me. (she's had 3)
so what I conclude in my head is either she's hinting at something like she's interested or in my head more likely is that I'm Ash Ketchum level friend zoned.

[pcmaster]

Well it seems that you spend lot of time with girls. Perhaps you should hang out more with guys and then when it comes to girls be less friend and more predator. Be okay with your sexuality with fact that you are man and be proud with it. Also realise girls like guys, so be confident. When you look at the girl and want touch or kiss her then thats the right moment to do it. Seriously trust your gut and go on your own pace. This will bring you best results.


Check these videos

youtube.com/watch?v=VpwJcHWn33M
youtube.com/watch?v=TN3_urefvk4

[smackie9]

I tend to agree with this.....you put yourself in that friends zone when you hang out with nothing but girls, they don't see the testosterone then. Girls are more attracted to guys who do guy things, like sports, work on cars, play fight, joke around with his bros.