Here's my story i hope any one can help?We have been together 7 years
The last couple of years I (we are not married) feel like we're friends who live together and occasionally ( and rarely in my opinion) have sex. I love him, but lately I'm questioning whether or not it's the kind of love that can sustain a relationship beyond friendship. We both have the unfortunate tendency to hold things inside, but our relationship has always been good - but it's not enough for me anymore. The last time we had sex was 2 months ago. I gave up trying to initiate sometime ago, I just suspect we're growing apart. I'm not the easiest person to live with. But who is?!. I've become a hermit due to a lack of friends where we are living. I've been working on that department, not for him but for myself and find myself getting happier about my social life around here as of late.
I realize in recent times, I spend most of my time watching movies/television shows, because I just want to drown out my sad thoughts. I have a hard time keeping the house clean, because I'm frankly depressed. However, relationship issues are never just about one person in the relationship. He too spends a lot of time engaged on line with his various message forums, or reading. We seem to have run out of things to say. I miss the conversations we used to have. All I do is work and I see the glazed look in his eye when I talk about my job. I know why, because all I do usually is complain but I feel compelled to keep talking or I fear we will just give up speaking to each other as well.
He's truly a good, decent man. I still find him attractive both physically and by the person he is. I know he cares for me but there seems to be this distance between us. I don't know how to start a conversation with him about how I feel. Mostly, I'm scared to death of doing so. But, if I don't, I don't think he will even though I'm sure he must have at least some of the same thoughts about us as I do. I'm not looking for all that excitement a new relationship brings in the beginning (though a little would be nice!), but a renewed sense of closeness and intimacy (both emotional and physical). That's what I really want.
I have tried so many times to start this conversation, only to find no words because my throat paralyzes up. Gosh, I'm sorry, I wrote so much here, that I will stop for now. Words of wisdom, advice or support greatly appreciated. I feel so lost right now.