Ok...I'll try to explain this

[ronn45]

I do need help though...here's the story:

I met a woman 2 1/2 yrs ago through a mutual friend. We went out once, and never followed up. We got together again in September, and really hit it off. Suffice it to say I fell in love with her. We were spending most of our time together...red flag, I know. When she needed 'space', I was upset, but agreed to it. We had planned to go see my family for Xmas, but she backed out 3 days before we were to go, as her 'BFF' was coming to town, to visit her very ill mother. I got a little selfish, and that created a rift. There were some other 'small' problems that happened in a short period of time. None of them by themselves a 'deal-breaker', but all at once, had concerned her.

She said she need 'time'. Well, she's out of the country now. We had our most serious issues over the weekend, when I said that I didn't want to talk about our problems that we were facing, but would rather put them behind us.

Now I fear that she will come home, and 'curb' me.


Feel free to ask questions.

Any ideas, girls?

[vashti]

"Curb" you? What does that mean?

Your post is too vague to do much with, but if you won't talk to her about your problems, you will soon be history.

[ronn45]

Sorry about being so vague. I'll try to fill in some blanks now. This relationship started up very quickly. We actually pretty much skipped the courting ritual, and went right to spending 'most' of our time together. I think that's what has concerned her so much. I try not to be smothering, but I have fallen for this woman. I believe that's where the fights are coming from. Anything I wish to do, I wish to do with her.

Well...after last weekend, I just wanted to put all of it behind us. She wanted to continue to talk about it. I think that that's where my issues lie.

'Curbing' is 'kicking me to the curb', or leaving me. I do not want that. I want to hold on to this one. When she gets back from her trip next week, how do I reassure her that I am open to talking, after last weekend's trouble?

[lastwish]

Just...tell her you are willing to talk through the trouble. She's right, you need to talk through problems to get a relationship going. You can't leave them behind. You don't have to worry about the "courting process". I think dating is courting.