Falling in love with a man who is not financially secure

[kbouquet]

I think I have let my feelings get too strong for this man. It is confirmed now that he has no savings. I am fifty and going to retire in ten years.
I have some savings. I don't know how to let go of him, but I look toward a future with no money for enjoyment, especially traveling. If we were to stay together, I worry that one day I would resent him because I am not able to do the things I would like.

[michelle23]

how can you blame anyone else but yourself if your not financially secure? your responsible for you. i recomend you start saving now if you want to travel when you retire. looking at a mans wallet wont bring you love or happieness. if you have a good thing with this man, hes not in any debt and lives comfortably-then i wouldnt toss him away coz your worried about what may or may not happen in ten years time

[vashti]

how can you blame anyone else but yourself if your not financially secure? your responsible for you. i recomend you start saving now if you want to travel when you retire. looking at a mans wallet wont bring you love or happieness. if you have a good thing with this man, hes not in any debt and lives comfortably-then i wouldnt toss him away coz your worried about what may or may not happen in ten years time

I think she was worried that HE hasn't been financially responsible.

I'd be worried, too.

[surfhb2]

I think I have let my feelings get too strong for this man. It is confirmed now that he has no savings. I am fifty and going to retire in ten years.
I have some savings. I don't know how to let go of him, but I look toward a future with no money for enjoyment, especially traveling. If we were to stay together, I worry that one day I would resent him because I am not able to do the things I would like.

Better make a choice. Whats more important?

Honestly though......just give him a false reason and walk away. You will seriously damage his head and it will make you look like a complete bitch (which you kinda are IMO anyway) Good luck!

[dem862]

Everyone has their standards, whatever they may be. You have one that deals with financial security. It is your life, so don't worry what other people think of your standards. They don't live your life. If you compromise your minimum standards to stay in a relationship, that is called settling. I think most would advise against settling.

[vashti]

Better make a choice. Whats more important?

Honestly though......just give him a false reason and walk away. You will seriously damage his head and it will make you look like a complete bitch (which you kinda are IMO anyway) Good luck!

Oh, come on! People who are older and have not been responsible with their money become a financial drain to their loved-ones, and one, single medical problem can bankrupt you.

If she's already thinking she will resent his lack of planning, she definitely will... would it be better she overlook it now, and make him suffer later?

[bcgirl]

At age 50 I sure hope that a woman has figured out what she wants in a man. Financial security is obviously one of the things the OP finds important. And why not? You only live once and if she's worked hard and will retire in 10 years and looking forward to retirement and travelling, then why allow someone to potentially drag you down. What you can do is save up enough money for yourself AND him to do fun things in retirement if you can afford that. If he's been careless in his finances, well you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

[surfhb2]

Why get involved in the first place? Doesn't take much work to know he wasn't the guy for her to begin with

[Wakeup]

well, unless he immediately disclosed to her that he was without a retirement income except for his old age security, how would she know until time told the tale?

I wonder how many men who fear golddiggers would take for the hills if she were to come out with a questions about his net worth on the first or second date?

[surfhb2]

Maybe I'll divorced my wife since she has very little saved up too

[dem862]

Geez, my ex-wife made a profit on our marriage.

[Starnique]

^^^no offense but good for her.

I wouldn't get to attached and fall in love on purpose anyway without a guy that wasn't financially secure. A man that don't have anything just doesn't fit into my future.

[surfhb2]

I wouldn't get to attached and fall in love on purpose anyway without a gal that wasn't financially secure. A woman that don't have anything just doesn't fit into my future.

I wonder, as a man, if i were to make the same statement the kind of flack Id get ?

[Starnique]

If that's the way you feel you have that right but if a woman worked hard all her life, then she don't need to end it taking care of a man. That doesn't even sound right. A woman should have her things together too because she wouldn't want to get with a man and everything is his and if he start acting silly she can have her own. Everybody should have something at that age.

[SingleBilingual]

Be part of the breakthrough for feminism. Become the financial supporter of the relationship. You'll take control. That is what my manager is doing. She is a hero to all my female co-workers.