He Contacted Me, but Now Ignores Me!

[ScorpioGirl]

OK, many years ago I had a guy friend that I was pretty close to. He asked me a few years into our friendship but I said no (out of fear of taking things to the next level), and eventually we lost touch with each other. We NEVER had an argument nor were there ever any bad feelings between us. It’s just one of those things where as we grew, we drifted apart and lost touch.

Fast forward to now. He recently found me on FB and friended me which caught me off guard. I accepted his request. We sent a couple of simple “hi how are you” messages back and forth. He hasn’t responded to my last message which I sent to him to try to keep the conversation going thinking he might’ve been waiting for me to make the next move. He hasn’t commented on any of my posts, but I have to his… with no response back from him.

I’m really baffled. I was thrilled to see that he sought me out and I want nothing more than to get our friendship back, and perhaps maybe more if we still feel right together after so much time has passed. I just don’t understand why he’d seek me out and then start ignoring me (if that’s what he’s doing). He’s really a great guy, or at least he was, so I don’t think he’s being spiteful. I’m just confused.

Any clues on what he may be thinking? Or why he’d initiate this and then drop off like this?

Also, I was thinking of sending him another message saying if he ever wanted to chat to call me and then give him my number. I just don’t want to come off as needy or pushy. How long should I wait or should I just not send him another message?

[surfhb2]

Wait till next Thursday days and give him your number

[basilandthyme]

I’m really baffled. I was thrilled to see that he sought me out and I want nothing more than to get our friendship back, and perhaps maybe more if we still feel right together after so much time has passed. I just don’t understand why he’d seek me out and then start ignoring me (if that’s what he’s doing). He’s really a great guy, or at least he was, so I don’t think he’s being spiteful. I’m just confused.

ScorpioGirl, you're over thinking this far too much. It's just a FB friend request.

I'm trying not to be mean here, but heaps of us find old work mates and school mates and friend them on FB and perhaps even have a quick online chat. But it doesn't mean we want them as an ongoing part of our lives.

[ScorpioGirl]

surf - I might go ahead and message him tonight to give me a call if he wants. I don't know why I'm so nervous and jittery about this, but I am.

basil - I hear what you're saying, but I honestly feel that this guy is different. I know most girls will say that about guys, but I honestly, truly do. When we were close friends we were really close. He's an honest stand up guy with a huge heart. I can't see him friending me just to get his friend numbers up (especially since he's newer at FB) nor do I see him as wanting to friend me and then forget me. I don't know. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I think there's more going on here.

[Wakeup]

Stop playing little "poke me" games with him and actually reach out and contact him. Then, see how things go from there. Find out quick if he is in a relationship (don't just take his "status" as it being what it is, ask him) and if he's not, then suggest you meet up for coffee to catch up.

Anything less and you're just going to fk with your own head.

[ryann87]

If been in his exact position before, and I did almost the exact same thing he's doing to you. I thought I was a good idea to contact her, but the thought of getting the friendship back and having it go sour again put me off. Eventually we worked it out and we're really close again, but that required us having to talk about what had happened and how not to have it happen again.

[datepleo]

Hi ScorpioGirl, it's just Facebook. I would suggest you wait for a little, maybe a week or two. If he still does not respond, then you can message him. Try to get him offline, maybe grab a coffee. That way you will know for sure.

Keep us posted.