How to deal with ex-GF who is still into you?

[precisi0n86]

Hi all,

My ex called me up today, a week after I broke up with her, saying she misses me and started crying. I accepted the call because I had given her mixed signals previously after she unleashed upon me a guilt trip of biblical proportions, which has taken me days to recover from and get my true feelings back in order. So I responded to her by making it clear it was over, that I am sorry she is taking it so hard, and had thoughts about ending the conversation, but I didn't. She then said she wishes we never kissed and were just friends, and she misses my friendship and talking with me. I don't fully buy this as she warned me that she would try to sneak her way back into a relationship with me, which is why when I broke up with her she said we could not even be friends.

This is actually one of the reasons I broke up with her, she's too insecure and needy. I don't want to break her heart again and she has a way of making me double think my decisions with her. So what did I do? When she called I said let's just agree to be friends, and took the conversation away from our relationship and onto something else which stopped the tears. All the while I am wondering if this was the right approach to take, but there was no turning back. I am going overseas next week for 3 weeks during Christmas, so my plan is to not contact her or be contactable by her while I am overseas, then to assess the situation when I come back and see if she's moved on emotionally. If she has, well I am happy to be friends with her like I am with my other ex... exchanging the occasional, well-spaced, correspondence. But what if she hasn't?

Could any one here give me advice on how to deal with her if when I come back she still misses me and is crying? Or if she tries to push the issue before I leave?

[Gratedwasabi]

Do. Not. Be. Friends. Make. It. Clear. You. Cannot. Be. Friends. Before. You. Go. Overseas.

Trust me. Been in this EXACT same boat. She sounds precisely like my last ex, who used any means, ie guilt, sex, promises, etc, to try and get me back. She's not the type that will handle being friends, she'll try to sneak back in. You'd just come back and she'd jump right back at you. Tell her you can't talk any more. Period. And ignore her.

It's for her best, believe it or not.

[Boisdevie]

Simple. Do not commuinicate with her - no phone, texts, emails - NOTHING.

[Lisa89]

No contact. She'll probably hate you for a while, but eventually she'll get over it and you'll be able to get on with your life sooner than later. It seems harsh ignoring calls and texts etc but its best for you both if she's acting like that. Don't mean to sound harsh, but I was her a little while ago and I wish my ex ignored me straight off the bat.

[xxazurexx]

Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind and the kindest thing you can do, is to cut off contact and not take her calls. In continuing to answer her calls and talk to her, you are giving her false hope that you may go back to her. She will be of the mindset that because you still talk to her, it must mean you still have feelings.

She doesn't possess the first broken heart and she won't possess the last. She will get over you eventually, but you have to let her go and to enable her to get over you.