not sure how to approach this subject with her

[bombboy85]

Ok so I'll keep this as short as possible, I am in the military currently deployed and me and my wife got married about a month and a half before I left. I was talking to the now ex friend that I met her through (thats a whole other drama) and he sent me a handful of well... racy pictures that she had taken and sent him when he was on his last deployment. At the time she had wanted to date him when he got back and they had fooled around a few times (this was all before I ever met her so whatever no big deal).

This just happened this morning and I want to tell her he sent em to me because I feel we should tell each other everything but with the time differences I havent been able to yet.

Now part of me like I said wants to tell her even if she will likely get upset and mad at me a bit but at least I'd be being honest. The other part of me wants to keep quiet and see if she sends me anything like that while I'm on this deployment. She had also previously showed me pictures she had taken that weren't just self shots they were more special pictures, more thought out for a previous bf who broke up with her just before his deployment and she had them to him on his deployment.

I'm the type that wants to be the best at everything and I like to feel like I'm special to her otherwise why is she with me. I have 5 months left on my deployment so a long time for her to send that kind of thing. If I tell her about them I'm sure it will come out that I dont care about him getting pics but I will if I don't get anything then she will feel like she has to and its something I'd rather she do because she wants to not because I'd get upset.

Am I just being an idiot thinking like this? BTW I'm leaning about 80% towards telling her because thats how I am honesty is key in relationships.THanks in advance

P.S. I didn't go asking him if she sent him pics. I don't think she realizes it but I have known about the pics since day 1 when I met her because he mentioned something about them to her while we were all hanging out.

[Kyrina]

Why cant you say to her that so and so sent you pics of her,she sent them to him in the belief he was special and mature enough to keep them for himself, when all i see his a moron who wanted to damage your relationship with her and make you feel not special as he thinks he is.Come on hun wake up she MARRIED you not this jerk and as for you wanting the pics and her not having sent any who is she sleeping with when your home from deployment who is she loving who is she caring for YOU not some saddo who wants to ruin your marriage and planting seeds.If she doesnt send you any dont you think its because you get the real thing in the end.
Tell her saddo sent you the pics and your p*issed off he dare think of you as a cheap whore and make it about her emotions and dignity not yours

[tremolo]

Your friend is a douchebag who, as Kyrina said, betrayed her trust and wanted to drive a wedge between you and your wife - all so he can boost his own ego (perhaps because she chose you over him). You should tell your own ego to pipe down, delete the pics, and tell your wife how much you miss her, how badly you want her, and how you're dying to see her while you're so far away. She ought to get the hint - especially if she's been sending these kinds of photos in the past.