Relationship Broken

[battleship7]

Dear World

My situation involves a relationship I had which span 3 & half years. With this girl we had been a fantastic couple. However the last year of it we were living 350km away from each other but visited each other from time to time. I got the shock of my life when this guy confessed that he had been living with her for 2 months sharing bed etc. Of course my world stopped for that one hour. Why this had happened i had no idea even up to now! Flash-backwards, years past, i was her strongest support and no1 cared about her more than i did. She lost her parents at a young age and had been living with aunts & uncles who never put much in her life. I genuinely loved her and believed in her which is why i had invested in her education so as to empower her life. When i think about it I really smile at myself because someone is ahead in life bcoz for once in my life i chose to be selfless. What gets to me the most is why a person's heart, mind & soul say to them its right to do that. If i was faithful surely she could be. Reasons for the act could not be explained and even to this day. I spoke to her (used to be best) friend and she was shocked & when I said I had left her she could not believe it. It was like trying to tell Neil Armstrong that the world is a cube. Today the girl is affected by our break up but i don't get why! I knew she had self esteem issues but i made sure she was confident about herself around me. Perherps these esteem issues explained why she was changing friends often and used by her own friends. My biggest question that bugs me is why a girl would destroy the single thing that stood by her & made her a better person. Why sleep with another guy u barely know & flush what made u happy away? Now she sits by & feels the pain..telling me she is hurt and made mistake etc

Can someone let me know why this happens bcoz i m painting all women the same just bcoz i never expected this from this girl.

[4 ratties]

I'm not sure why people cheat. Insecure, weak, needing attention, careless are a few that come to mind

[atir12]

It definitely sounds like this girl isn't worthy of your attention. Like 4 ratties said, I'm not sure why people cheat, but the fact is that they do. I can't even imagine what that must be like, but you weren't the weak one and the one screwing things up. If I were you, I would just keep living my own life with a clear conscience because you weren't the one ruining everything.

And there are cheaters out there, men and women. I know it's easier said than done, especially after a tough break-up, but it's unfair to look at all women and think they are all cheaters, but I think you will be able to look at things clearly after some time.

But hugs to you. I hope you manage to feel better

[smackie9]

#1, You said yourself she has low self esteem......this is what led her to latching onto someone else.....she didn't have you by her side. I guess since there was so much tragedy in her life from before she never really recovered from it.....that is just a guess.

#2 Helping her during that tough time could have lead to you reminding her about those hard times.....it does happen. For example a couple loses a child, that type of devastation will blow apart a perfectly good marriage.

#3, She has been wanting out for awhile, but she feels it is too difficult to say goodbye out of guilt because of all you have done for her. She knew she would have a fight on her hands because you probably would let her go if she did.

#4, The relationship has run it's course. People lose their feels naturally no matter how perfect the relationship is.

#5, She met someone that gave her such intense feelings of attraction she couldn't resist.

It could be one of these or a combination of any of these. But don't worry in time none of this will concern you because you will have moved on with your life....she will be nothing but a distant memory.

[smackie9]

Oh well it's good that you have a way to talk it out here. Come by if you need to vent or need some words of encouragement. Take care

[michelle23]

forget her. shes weak, pathetic, insecure, needy, attention seeking and has issues you cant fix. she betrayed you in the worst possible way and you can do better than that. move on. cheating is the end and its the worldsway of telling you shes not the right one. of course it hurts now and will for awhile but nothing stays bad forever. you will get over her with time. good luck