I want baby he does not

[roxysmiles]

he is 35yrs with kids and divorced. im 25 no kids and divorced. we have been together for a year and 6 mo. we love each other very much but neither ever wants to marry again. we are very much happy. i love his children ( 14yrs, twins 12yrs) like there my own. i will do anything for them. my life is wonderful with one problem, he says he is done having kids .when we first met i agreed. but now that i know what it is like to have kids around it makes me want one. his kids are wonderful he is a good father.lately he has been talking about getting himself "fixed". i find myself crying over this but feel like ther is no point in talking to him about it because i changed my mind and i know he is stubborn n i don't want to force or guilt him into wanting a baby with me. so how do i deal with this?

[Someonesp]

No marriage -> no babies. This should be your rule. Dont have babies with someone you're not married to. What if he'll leave you right after? He must first commit to you! You are still young. Find someone who wants the same things as you, maybe a younger man without children. Get married and start a normal family.

[bulrush]

Your want of babies is just an emotion you need to ignore. Imagine if you got pregnant "on accident". He would surely leave you alone with a baby to care for. He would feel betrayed by you and hate you. Stop whining and enjoy his kids.

If this is a major issue, then find another boyfriend to have a baby with. So your choices are:

1. Stop whining and enjoy what you have
2. Find another boyfriend and have a baby

[roxysmiles]

i am sorry i posted. im just upset and had no one to talk to. did not mean to come off whining.

[Kaius]

Between the two of you, he is the sensible one. He doesn't want babies because he doesn't want to deal with them if ever you two were to break up. It's bad enough having to raise kids separately when you are divorced. All divorced men realizes this eventually.
That is why it is BAD idea for women without children to date men with children. The woman eventually wants kids of her own, and the man, especially if he is older, would not want to neglect his own kids. I commend your boyfriend for wanting to get a vasectomy
and not have any more kids. He is making the right move. If you are not on board with this, you need to find yourself another man....one without kids.

[Boisdevie]

My ex partner wanted a baby with me. I'm a divorced guy with 2 daughters and already a vacectomy. I did not want to at all - so she had to decide to stay with me or leave. It really is that simple.

[devonbrown]

OP, it is okay if you changed your mind on this subject. You are only 25 after all. But you need to talk to him about it. Let him know you changed your mind. He might be talking about getting fixed because he has no idea that you might want something different.

The thing of it is, when you talk to him about it, make sure you understand that it might be a breaking point for you. If you really want children and he doesn't, there really is much of a way around that. You will probably have to look for a new relationship.

But don't assume that you will be guilting him into having a baby or anything like that. Trust in what he says to you. But you have to have the conversation with him.

good luck.

[roxysmiles]

thanku all. we have talked and we r workin it out. i did not mention my medical probs which was a bigger factor in his decision then i had thought. he was afraid i would have to many problems with a pregnancy, so adoption is in my future.

[MaidenMinx]

Good to hear you discussed it with him roxysmiles. Oh and ignore Kaius, he's an idiot. :p