Some quick and dirty background information: I’m 24 and have never been in a relationship or been on a date. Reason being, I was kinda big in school and had self-confidence issues. Because of that, unfortunately, I was never a participant of this dating game and lack any experience in it. I’m not even close to the same guy now. I’ve lost a lot of that weight and am extremely confident in who I am. What might be odd, is that I am having my first crush now. Some things matter more to me than others, so let’s just assume I’m not socially awkward or weird.
So, for the past month, I’ve been on a rollercoaster. From the outside looking in, I thought people were strange, but now that I am feeling and going through the same thing, I can empathize, this is tough. I go from extreme highs to sucky lows. And that all revolves around interaction with this girl. I think I need help understanding it all.
Here’s my situation:
I’m 24, she’s 18, to be 19 in a month’s time. I’ve never met anyone like her. We share a LOT of interests in common. The problem I’m having, is I can’t tell if she’s interested in me. Now, I’m a straight talker. I may put flowers around my words, but I say what’s on my mind and don’t have a problem doing so. I just can’t tell her how I feel until this fall. In the meantime, I’m trying to figure out if I should pursue and court her or not. Part of the problem, is that I’ve known her for about 5-6 months, but my feelings began to develop in the past month.
Aaaaand here is why I can’t figure her out:
I’m 75% sure she’s really traditional in that the guy should be chasing her. I have no problem with that, but it is making it somewhat difficult to deduce.
We have talked on Facebook for hours at night, but it’s me that initiates the conversations. We text occasionally, but she nearly always responds within a couple of minutes. She has texted me a few times to start a short dialogue, though.
It’s really easy for me to make her smile and laugh. She seems like just a friendly and outgoing person though, just like me.
A while back, twice in one day, she half shouted “Surprise hug!” and came up from behind me and hugged me. I thought nothing of it at the time, but now I wish I had returned the hugs, because I feel like I scared her off from ever hugging me, as it hasn't happened since then.
She will occasionally touch my shoulder when comforting me after I feign sadness being a funny guy. But she seems… I don’t know, it’s a really light touch, hesitant isn’t the right word… Nervous is closer, maybe awkwardly-nervous.
She doesn't seem to have a personal space issue with me. Then again, she could just be comfortable around me. Just today, I decided to test it and got close enough to have my forearm touch her forearm and she just left it like that until I moved away a few seconds later to not seem creepy.
When I’m talking to her, she does look at me. It’s a weird look, and I’m not sure I could accurately describe it, but that could just be my imagination and what I WANT. She stares into my eyes.
Out of the blue, she wanted to start eating like I do (Primal) but she has no weight to lose. When I jokingly asked why, she didn’t actually give me a reason, just a movie quote. Then again, she could have observed how much energy and healthy I seem and wanted to feel the same and stay healthy herself.
We both go to a group thing, and that’s where I met her. We’ve decided to theme out the days. She could just be having fun, though.
Someone told me she would start touching her hair if she was interested. Problem is, she never touches her hair. She’s a hair girl. I’ve overheard her say she doesn’t like anyone touching her hair.
Just today, I actually caught her looking at me from across the room. She didn’t look away right away, though, she held the gaze for a few seconds, then we both turned away. But I’ve only just caught her doing it once today, I’m not sure if she’s been doing it.
I was tasked for playing music for this group and mentioned I’d rather not sing alone. She offered to sing with me right away. (She does like to sing and loves music though). A couple of weeks later, she gave me her number for when I wanted to practice.
There is more, but what can you guys gather from this? Is it just a bunch of information that could be either/or? Is there anything I should look for next time I see her? Anything I should test/try next time I see her? I feel so clueless, and it’s killing me! I want to go with my gut, I want to say she's interested and she feels the same way... but my mind is analyzing EVERYTHING and nitpicking. It tells me, "Yeah, you're funny, you're cool, you're not a bad catch, but she's probably crushing on someone better." I don't have this problem with other girls that I'm not interested in. I can really tell they are crushing on me, but not THIS girl. I can't figure her out!