he says he's not ready to move on from his ex, but I like him.

[thewhiterabbit]

I like this guy I met about a month ago at a friend's house. The problem is he's still in love with his ex that broke up with him a few months ago. They dated for several years, so I understand. He has said he asked her to either completely say goodbye (as she said she was confused when they broke up) or take him back. She refuses to do either. He told me that until she does one or the other he can't even try to move on, as he doesn't want to hate her for not giving him closure. He said he knows that if he stopped calling he'd probably never see or hear from her again, but that he can't end it like that.

But he DOES flirt with me. He told me the other day that he trusts me a lot, or he wouldn't have told me the above mentioned facts. He's usually very private. Should I continue to be friends with him? I don't want to get attached to someone that can't let go of someone else. And if I do like how long should I wait before letting him know I'm interested. 'Cause I promise he's clueless to it right now. Poor boy is so innocent.

[vashti]

I don't think you should stick around.... he's stuck on someone else. Do you want to be the girl he is having sex with while he is thinking of her? besides, you don't want him as a friend, now do you?

[Doc Durian]

I doubt he'll have sex this one. He seems hung up on his previous love.

She should back off and allow things to run its course.

Maybe then, he'll be okay for the plucking.

[thewhiterabbit]

Oh yeah he's too loyal to have sex with someone else until she "releases" him. I wouldn't mind being friends with him. We have a lot in common. Just wanted to see if there's any hope of more.

[Doc Durian]

I wouldn't mind being mates with him either... he could have the first option to make the move between twin pairs, and after he refused due to integrity... I'd be lumped into his class of thinking.... free to field off my date's stronger moves until such point where I "broke with norms" and layed conduit in happy gully.

I'd still spoon before and after the fact....so a full three course dining experience.

(Should I feel ashamed for distrusting women after all these years of hooking up with gold diggers, sluts, and mental basket cases??

Wait... I don't care... just remembered.

[thewhiterabbit]

So I guess this is all a moot point now, anyway. We were talking about things, and I guess I assumed we were closer than we are and told him something that I've never told anyone else (in real life) that wasn't in the situation itself. He said he was ok with it at the time, but conversation waned. We haven't talked since then 2 days ago which is unusual. I hope he's just busy, but it seems like too much of a coincidence.

[thewhiterabbit]

He's been worried about stuff with a potential job that would go down today. Should I send him a text wishing him luck or just wait to see if he messages me?

[Doc Durian]

Probably leave him to his own devices. He could take it as an intrusion or extra stress.

[starbuck]

If you're truly ok with just being friends with him, then be his friend. But if you really want something more, I'd leave him alone. You're setting yourself up to be hurt by this guy.

[thewhiterabbit]

So he seems to be trying to move on. He's went on a couple different casual dates in the last few weeks. He's still talking about his ex on occasion, but it's more like "if she doesn't hurry up, I'm going to move on pretty soon." I'm kind of afraid that he's going to move on with someone else (not me) because I live almost 4 hours away from him. I'm not really sure how to read him because he tells me about the dates and such. He's still flirting, and we text SO OFTEN(but I'm normally the initiator. He doesn't seem to mind, though.). While that's normal for me, his friends have noticed he's texting a lot more often. In fact, one of his friends has made it clear that he thinks I'm "taking him away". Something I learned from a mutual friend of both of them. I'm still not sure how I could be taking him away when the only contact we've had since late January is through text but whatever. I told him about this because I didn't know how much of it he knew, and he just said "(friend) is being stupid. Don't worry about him".

Does anyone think I have a chance with our situations right now? It's just so rare for me to find someone that I actually dig. I don't want this to end because I'm not reading his signals right. Maybe I should just stop worrying so much and let things go as they will.