Pretty common problem I assume :

[Bigboy77]

Perfect relationship with a girl for 2 years. She turned 19 and suddenly became obsessed with going to bars and drinking.

She dresses different now. acts different. and is most likely sleeping around. (she was never like this).
She basically just stopped talking to me completely out of nowhere with no warning while things were going great with us.
I've talked to her a few times but she just isnt the same.. shes so wrapped up with going to bars and partying.

I don't know what to do... part of me wants to stick around as a friend for her during this stage.. another part wants to tell her how worried i am about her and the decisions shes making, and another part wants to just stop talking to her completely.

It's just so hard seeing someone you care about making horrible choices for themselves.. she used to have goals and dreams and now it just seems to be bars bars bars....

I am moving on regardless but i still genuinely care for her and cant bear to see her do this to herself.

What are your guys experience with this?
do they grow out of it?
do they regret it?
how long does this stage last..?

[oldskool83]

yeah you'll be into this for a good 5-6 years trust me. by about 25 they start to either stop of dont.

[Bigboy77]

I stopped at 21 lol... i realized how silly it all was.

[oldskool83]

i like to go to bars but, i was not interesed when i was young, ate 26 i liked, ill be 28 now and go alot more, but its to burn time with friends or eat. not to get shit faced.

[VincenzoG91]

You can't have a perfect relationship with a 19 year-old because she isn't done growing up yet. She will continue to go through changes for the next few years.

[oldskool83]

be prepaired to grow appart. reason my marrage failed, at 23 i was not there a 19 year old was. 5 years later we both agreed we were not where we thought we were, today we'd be fine, but too much damangine past to try again.

[smackie9]

It's game over....let her go and experience the fun and excitement of being an adult. 19 is way too young to be stuck in a committed relationship anyways....marriage is no picnic so enjoy your youth while you still have it.

[smackie9]

Yes it is quite common. It was good times in my youth......I still like going to the bar. Leave the old man at home and dance the night away with my GFs.

[devonbrown]

This happens a lot with people when they get their first taste of "freedom." Turning of age, going to college, etc. She needs to figure it out on her own, it is part of her coming of age story.

If you try to be there for her, talk to her about it, etc. she is going to see you as a controlling father figure and will just make things super uncomfortable.

[Boisdevie]

Yep, try stopping her and she'll tell you to eff off. Were you actuallyu BF and GF? Sounds like you are pissed off because she's moved away from you (in the mental sense)

[Bigboy77]

yeah we were bf and gf for 2 years.

It's just so hard to see someone that was once so special conform like this and become like the rest of them.
Drinking so much and hanging out with bad influences. I know she is going to get used and abused it's only a matter of time. It sucks having to just watch it happen to someone you care about because i know very well that she wont listen to me if i say anything.

There's nothing i can do but hope she grows out of it