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Thread: Looking for the right moment

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    Looking for the right moment

    I have been dating this amazing girl for 8 weeks now, next week will be 2 months. She is 21 next month and says shes still young and not really looking for a partner yet, but does look for options.
    Im the only one she likes currently, according to her.

    The great thing about her is that she doesnt sleep guys like every other girl. We have been seeing eachother every week once or twice, and have not even kissed yet (for us, our culture, good thing).

    I am 24, and i am looking for a partner (for life).
    My past involved bad encounters and experiences with woman overall. Many reasons which i have closed my heart to women. This makes me rather picky in finding a good partner, which i believe i have found. She managed to open the lock on my heart, and its free for her to take.

    I want to tell her this, that i believe i am ready to fall in love with her, and that dont want to search further. She can take as long as she wants before committing. However she isnt looking for a partner now, but does "look for options", for and wants to spend more time before she "makes a move".

    How do i tell her that im ready, without making her turn away. I dont think ill find another girl like her.
    Im scared she might run into someone else.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
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    You just tell her you have feelings for her, with or without using the word Love...that could scare her off...and say you would like to start a relationship with her and hope she feels the same way about you... You have to be honest and in being honest you risk her turning away but you still take the chance if she is the one for you.. 2 months is enough time passed for you to express your real feelings for her. Good Luck.

  3. #3
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    I agree with dollhouse. I thought the same thing about scaring her off.
    I think you've watched too many movies, and have a type of plot ingrained in your mind. Where it follows a script with you confessing your undying unconditional love for a woman that you haven't really been that intimate with, and expect that because you did this, she will fall head over heels for you. Its not really how it works in reality.

    I think the best method to go with expressing your feelings is by just asking her out on an actual date. Compliment her lightly, show interest, and even when you're asking her out on the date you can be direct and express interest. "Ciara, we need to get together sometime. I think you're ****ing amazing. Let's meet up for coffee or drinks, what's your schedule like?" Word it in your own way, this is my personality, but you need to be authentic with how you are.

    Im not saying to hold back per say. Just don't act like she's the last woman on earth. Take measured steps.
    Women have internal radars, when men bark things out like, "I love you " or something way too serious prior to going on a long series of dates, their heads will turn.
    And not in a good way, think of the movie The Exorcist. She's now feeling really uneasy about going out with you, potentially even unsafe.
    And if a woman doesn't feel comfortable going out with you, you will never get her out of her house.

    She said it herself, shes looking for options, meaning she doesn't want to rush things. So take a laid back approach and just go with the flow.
    Set one date per week at the start.
    Last edited by GLYC; 29-08-17 at 03:03 PM.

  4. #4
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    Another way might be to tell her that you have feelings for her, and it is exactly for that reason why you'd readily respect her and patiently wait for her to be ready. That way, you're expressing interest without pressuring her to start a relationship with you. This advice is based on what you said that she currently likes you, if that is the case then she won't be scared if you tell her how you feel, and since she does not feel rushed by you, i believe she'll give you a good chance. This situation requires patience from you, but it is important to let her know she means something to you
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

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