Girlfriend with lots of guy friends

[Flamel]

Some girls are like that i supposed, they hangout more with guys and have more guy friends than girlfriends. My gf has some good girlfriends, but she clicks very well with guys too, and frequently attracts alot of attention from other guys.

To her, she thinks that she is not wrong in going out with with the guys coz shes not cheating or anything. She just want her space to make friends. But very obviously some of the guys are interested in her, and i'm not comfortable with her going out with these particular guys. But she thinks its ok, coz its just making new friends.

We've had big quarrels about this issues and she wont back down, saying that she wants her personal space to make friends.

Now my point is this, when a guy is interested in a girl, and the girl goes out with him, isnt that givng the guy a chance to go for more? So am I being a manipulative bf here?

I'm sure there're girls here that has alot of guy friends with new guys constantly asking you out. What do you think of this? Should i just get off her back? If a guy obviously likes you, but you think hes a very nice guy and really enjoy his company as a friend, and thus goes out with him, what exactly are you all expecting to come out of the whole situation for ur bf and that guy?

[Ellynn]

I understand why you are upset about this and all, but she does have a right to have guy friends. She may or may not be aware of how they feel about her. But as long as nothing gets physical, technically she is not doing anything wrong.

The choice is up to you. You can either trust her or you can not. If you don't, chances are your relationship with her isn't gonna work out.

Personally, if I was taken and knew a guy friend of mine liked me, I would not want to lead him. I would make it VERY clear that Im not intersted in anything more then friendship. If he can deal with that, fine. If not, then Im not gonna be hanging around him.

[jagmeow]

Man, I have that exact same problem. My girlfriend has tons of guy friends. I've made it very clear to her, that if one guy touches her the wrong way, he's not only a dead man, he's burning in hell. However, I trust her completely when she is hanging around all them. I know she isn't gonna do anything. Just trust your girl. See, she has made it clear that if any girl touches me the wrong way, she's a dead girl. So it all works out for us. Find what works for you guys.

[SONOIL]

how old is she? Man, there's no such thing as friends between guys and girls. If she wants her space them it's either she keeps you as a back up plan or she cheating on you. Why would she want to hang out with guys if she's in love with you? The thing is that girls always think that guys their friends, while guys waiting for a right moment to get in their pants or get them off. Have you seen unattractive girl with lots of guy friends? What she does is big no no, because she gets tempted and she tempts guys she "hangs out with".i don't feel too strong about her...

[Ellynn]

Lionos does have a point, but I do have guy friends and I wouldn't consider myself all that. I doubt they want to get in my pants and if they do, then why the hell aren't they doing something about it now that I'm single??!

But yeah, Vashti brought up a good point. Is SHE trustworthy? Thats the main thing. She can have all these guys hitting on her no matter what, but HOW she handles it is what says it all.

She probably is flattered, and thats normal. As long as she doesn't cross the line. Hopefully for your sake, she is trustworthy.

[Flamel]

Shes 23, i'm 25. I trust her reasonably, coz she tells me any advances any guy makes... I'm in sales, so i do meet alot of girls in my line too, which makes her uncomfortable, and we do quarrel about it... So i try to reassure her as much as i can, and she does give in to me sometimes oso... so ya

but i do agree that shes putting herself in a compromising position. Temptations definitely cannot be avoided, and every relationship starts from a single date, so there is always a possibility sth might happen. But i cant say 'no! u cant go out with your guy frens at all!' right? That way she can tell me to quit meeting girls for my job too.

i draw the line at where the guy obviously show interest in her and is trying to get into her pants, heart, watever.

Hey generaljag, how does your gf deal with guys that are interested in her?

[Flamel]

yeh i agree with lionos that most guys juz try to get into the pants of the girl...but the problem is that girls apparently dont think so! mmm right ellynn?

[anachronistic]

i am not comfortable about the girl i date going out with other guys. especially if they are all alone.

[anachronistic]

yeh i agree with lionos that most guys juz try to get into the pants of the girl...but the problem is that girls apparently dont think so! mmm right ellynn?

yes, this is what it is like most of the time... or guys who had crushes on the girl, asked her out, and she rejected them.

[Ellynn]

yeh i agree with lionos that most guys juz try to get into the pants of the girl...but the problem is that girls apparently dont think so! mmm right ellynn?

Honestly, I don't think EVERY guy I encounter that is friendly to me wants to get in my pants. I mean yeah some are NOT so subtle about it where others really are. As a girl, I really don't notice it much unless I'm attracted to the guy. Because face it, when we like someone, every little thing they do is magnified.
If the guy is VERY blunt about his attraction, even if I don't like him like that, I tend to kinda ignore it or brush it off like its nothing. Its a nice way of saying "Thanx, but no thanx." But this is just my opinion of how it is for me and being that my status is single.

I know that when I was in a relationship, I would just bring up my bf a lot and hope the guys would get the hint that I'm not interested in them like that.

I do think though that a guy and girl can be just friends. At least, as a female I can see a guy as just a friend. What he is thinking, who knows?

[Flamel]

Actually Ellynn, subtle guys are the most threatening to a relationship imo. When these guys dun show their attraction outright, they dont put the girl on guard. They are the Mr Nice Guy that the girl is always defending when their bf protests, "No! He is definitely not making any moves on me!"

Then slowly slowly they get close to the girl, to the point where the girl is attracted to the guy without even knowing when she crossed the line from friends to more than friends. And when this guy finally makes his move, confesses his attraction, the girl finds it hard to say no! And THAT jeopardies the girl's relationship.

To guys, there is no such thing as a good platonic friendship, the ultimate goal is always the same. How many good guy friends do you have who nv crossed the line with you b4? Good and long pure friendship with a guy. dun think it exists.

[TDurden]

It really does boil down to how trustworthy she is.

It sounds like she's fairly loyal but also incredibly naive. When you're in a relationship you can't just think about yourself and it sounds like she's doing that a bit. She should know better then to be hanging out alone with guys who like her, that's just asking for trouble.

That said, she has the right to hang out with her guy friends. All male attention isn't necessarily sexual and you should let her chill with her male friends every once in a while. Obviously this does not include the men who are into her, but I'm assuming that's not most of the guys she's going out with.

[Tiay]

You gotta trust her. Or don't trust her. Make up your mind.
Hanging out with a group of friends is one thing; flirting with guys to get the attention without regard for your feelings is another thing. You have to bring this to a conclusion; don't keep quarrelling about it.

I know that a lot of my male friends want to get into my pants. From the start I make it clear that I'm in a relationship I have no intention of leaving. And you know what? If a guy is worth keeping as a friend, he'll get over it. My bf was initially a bit suspicious of my closest friend from a pre-college course, since I kept talking about him, and even asked my bf to do him a pretty big favour. And you know what? He trusted me. And later on, they got to meet and became friends funnily enough, one of my housemates at college has a similar story about a friend in class and her bf. Now, whenever her bf visits her, he wants to hang out with the other guy!

The moral of the story? It is possible for a girlfriend to have single male friends. And I value my bf all the more for trusting me and allowing me to have friends. I have been stung; guy "friends" who straight out groped me, who tried to sneak into my room during house parties at college, who confessed crushes, etc, and my bf always knows about it and he trusts me just like I trust him.

So I disagree.. it doesn't make me more likely to be tempted to cheat- it makes me want to stay with this cool bf who's trusting me and letting me do my thing, and who believes me when I say nothing will ever happen with my guy friends.

[/rant]

[Henry123]

...To guys, there is no such thing as a good platonic friendship, the ultimate goal is always the same. How many good guy friends do you have who nv crossed the line with you b4? Good and long pure friendship with a guy. dun think it exists.

It sounds like you dont have alot of women in your life and you see women as a scarcity.

[The Great OV!!!]

how old is she? Man, there's no such thing as friends between guys and girls. If she wants her space them it's either she keeps you as a back up plan or she cheating on you. Why would she want to hang out with guys if she's in love with you? The thing is that girls always think that guys their friends, while guys waiting for a right moment to get in their pants or get them off. Have you seen unattractive girl with lots of guy friends? What she does is big no no, because she gets tempted and she tempts guys she "hangs out with".i don't feel too strong about her...

I'm with this guy.