Hi,
Been with my boyfriend 4 years. He recently has become closer to two of his female co-workers; one single who mingles a lot and one with a boyfriend who also works there.
I'll admit, he's never really had female friends and it's caught me off guard a little. I have secretly got a little jealous naturally, but I've been trying not to read much into it. They're just different types of girls compared to me. They're louder, more outgoing etc, but they see the good parts of my boyfriend that I see, and formed a friendship with him (I hope). He's more like me btw; quiet and reserved.
I just wanted to post to ask about men and boundaries with female friends. Several things have happened and I wanted your opinions about whether lines have been crossed, and if I should be worried or not? I can't tell it's my insecurity or not.
Okay, first there's a WhatsApp group chat, called the Wolfpack. There's these two girls, and three lads. One being my boyfriend, one being the boyfriend of one of the girls and another being another lad with a girlfriend (who has since recently split up with his girlfriend). My bf says the single girl is interested in this lad.
The conversation is always turned to the single girls sex life, and how her ex wasn't great in bed. Then the two girls pretend to be lesbians and talk about scissoring in a jokey way. They'll be on nights out and send pictures of themselves, even though they've got a room full of men to talk to. My bf seems to be the only lad replying (which he says it's out of politeness, because they mention his name, making jokes with it, as if they're talking to him.)
He hasn't said anything sexual at all, but chimes in with a haha every now and again, or a comment about something non-sexual. However they seem to turn a lot of what he says into a sexual innuendo. Like talking about a character in a show called nigel, one girl will say about the other "so-and-so would nigel your sausage", or talking about bowling, "so-and-so would give you a strike, or should that be stroke". He always replies with a haha when it turns sexual. The other lads just don't respond, probably because their names aren't being mentioned.
My bf has been out to lunch with them, gives the girl with a bf a lift home as they live in the same town, and she talks to him about the problems she's having in her relationship. He says he doesn't say much because he doesn't want to get involved.
Recently, whilst he was staying at mine (we live about 45 minutes apart), these girls rang him at 11pm to invite him out for drinks. The reason was because the single girl was back in town, as she'd been away for a few weeks. He said he was with me so couldn't come, but then they said "awwh please come, please"and said something about the Wolfpack and howled down the phone at him. However he insisted afterwards that they didn't ask him to come again after he said he was doing something with me, but I did hear them say it. He did maybe someone in the background said it. He woke up to snapchats from them smoking and drinking, sent a like 3am, which I felt was them showing off what he could have got up to with them. The guy the single girl apparently like was there, so why would she send snapchats to another guy, if the gut she's interested in is right in front of her?
My bf has told me he texts them and group snapchats then because they are his friends. He says he has only ever viewed them as work friends, not close ones, so wouldn't invite them to do something with him outside of work. He says I have nothing to worry about, and that I shouldn't be annoyed because he isn't doing antic wrong, and he can't control of these girls text or call him.
So should I be worried? I get the impression that they want his attention and they don't care that he has a girlfriend? He says they're not malicious girls but I felt the snapchats were rude because they knew he was doing something with me. Plus the sex talk, I feel like they're girls, surely they'd sympathise and dislike other girls talking that way with their boyfriend.
For me, the boundaries of a male friendship with a female (and vice versa), would be no talking about sexual stuff, or calling late. Would you agree?
Am I reading too much into it?
Is he crossing the line?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.