Hi people. I hope this isn't a judgmental place because I need serious advice. I can't rely on friends or family because of the delicacy of the situation. Whew... okay here goes:
I met this girl last year in college. She's funny and beautiful. Her smile is like a sunrise. She melts me. It's awful and great.
She has a boyfriend. Dating 3 months though so I assume it isn't terribly serious. Plus she sometimes talks about how certain behaviors of his bother her.
At first we were just friends in class. Then we exchanged numbers. Then we went out with mutual friends. Then .. this week we went out alone, to a bar. We got kind of drunk and went back to her place. Nothing happened. Well... we talked but nothing physical. She teases me flirtatiously and I, her. The looks she gives me out of nowhere look like "I want you to want me." It kills me.
Last night we almost kissed, I swear. It was close.
Under normal circumstances it'd be cool. I'd be thrilled. Things are looking up.
Here's the first problem: I have a girlfriend, well... fiancee. We've been living together for over 5 years and I haven't let her know I'm hanging out with another girl.
Problem two: This new girl is almost 8 years younger than me. I'm 29, she's 21. It's a bit off.
I don't what to do. Logically I should just stop contact with this new girl and forget she existed. Problem with that is that the more I try the harder it gets. I've been painting pictures of her, writing songs about her. I think about her day and night. This girl is driving me crazy, and I don't even KNOW FOR SURE that she likes me like I like her. If I tell her she might bolt. What should I do?
Also my fiance has picked up on me being away from home at odd hours (I lie as to my location) and she's getting clingy. She wasn't clingy before. She's been asking me incessantly "Do you still love me?" "What's gotten into you?" and I can't tell her that I'm completely messed up in my head. I'm so confused. It's 2:30 in the morning now and all I can do is listen to sad music and yearn. I'm a mess.