Whats the odds for us?

[ap_from_swe]

Hi
Sorry for the bad english.

Im gonna make this short, becouse my post just disapered when i pressed submit...

Anyway, the thing is i got a female friend who i, a couple of months ago (about a month after she broke up with her boyfriend) started to hanging out with.
I thought it was great, but it all ran out in the sand, so a couple of weeks ago i told her that i saw our time together as more then just two friends hanging out. She then said that she still was hung up on her ex, and that she never really thought about how she felt about me. It wasn´t the best thing i could hear, but it still gave me a little hope for the future.

We haven´t really talked that much sence then, but im still planning on giving her a christmas present.
Its acually a really really good one, that i think she is going it like verry much. Im also planning on giving her a letter with it, saying that i started to get real feelings for her when we hang out, and that we in the future should hang out again, if anything, at least as friends.

So what do you think? Good/Bad idea? You think she will be happy for the present, or just find i anyoing that im not really over her?

Greatfull for any advise, thanks!

[Incognito]

To keep your posts from being erased in the future make sure that when you sign in that you 'check' the little box that says "remember me" that is right under where you type your name/password.

Present? Bad idea. It will make it look like you're trying to bribe her into having feelings for you. If you two were friends beforehand (for a while) then then it wouldn't be a big deal. Another person here posted about your EXACT same situation. Let her figure out what she needs and is ready for. If you don't hear from her again, then move on. There is a world of women out there, so don't get hung up on one who is still pining over her ex.

[devonbrown]

Agree with Incognito, but the present isn't the biggest issue (unless it is an inappropriately expensive or important gift for just a friend), but the letter with it is a bad idea. You have already told her that you have some feelings for her, repeating it in the letter will just make you seem pushy or that you don't take what she tells you into consideration. Remain friends with her, but don't close your options to others. And if something develops over time, it will. No need to rush things.

[ap_from_swe]

Thanks, but i think both the letter and the gift are essantial.
I mean, i haven´t really said that i have had feelings for her, only that i thought of our time together as more then friendship.

And Incognito, i know, thats a little what im worried about, that shes gonna think im trying to push her. But i hope that also will be solved with the letter.

Here´s a quickly translated verson on the letter, any tips on it?

"Hi XX

To make the present seem a little less wierd i just have to say that it was sort of a impulsive-buy, i really just wanted to say merry christmas.

But i need to say something else too
This should in one way be much nicer to do face to face, but then im worried im going to forget things, and make them sound wrong and so on.

I mostly just want to say im sorry, that i missinterpreted our time together.

Sorry if its hard to hear, but i honeslty started to get real feelings for you there. And they lasted for a while.
Now i don´t really know...
Even if you ofcourse still are an enourmusly cute and really intresting girl.

Anyway, we shouls hang out sometime, in the future, at least as friends.

Merry Christmas XX

PS:
Now you at least got something pushing you to getting that player you said you wanted (the present is a LP-record with one of her favorite bands)"

I mean, im saing that i at least want to be friends, so does it still feel like im i pushing and bribing her?

Thanks!

[VincenzoG91]

You're stuck in the Friend Zone. The bad news is that you wasted money on this gift, because you can't bribe your way out of the Friend Zone. And if this gift is really nice, it will probably be very awkward for her to receive it, and difficult for her to enjoy. The good news is that you can easily escape the Friend Zone by turning your back on her and moving on. Otherwise, prepare for pain when she is ready get over her ex but with somebody new and not you. I've been through that a few times, and it sucks.

Next time, don't try to sneak into a relationship wearing the friend disguise. Just ask the woman out. If she is interested and available, she will say yes. If not, move on to the next woman.

[Zabrinah]

I totally agree with all the advice you got here. If I was this girl, letter or no letter, I would think you were trying to make me like you with gifts. Listen to VincenzoG91. Next time, ask her out. She will either say yes or no. You can always get somebody else who is better suited for you!

[twinrexes]

You were the guy she hung out with right after breaking up with her ex. So you're kinda like the rebound friend, someone who was there when she needed company. She's still hung up on the ex. Either they'll get back together or she'll move on and want to get rid of anything and anyone who reminds her of him. And you'll probably remind her of the time she spent pining for him. So your chances aren't looking very good. Besides, the last thing she needs right now is pressure to get into another relationship. Let her have her space, there is no way she can see you as anything but a friend right now.