Girlfriend Issues

[jcali]

I'll get straight to the point. Do you think it's ok for your live in girlfriend of two years to go to a club without you. Even if you tell them you don't want them to.
Comments are appreciated.

[vashti]

Depends on the circumstances... Does she go clubbing regularly? Who did she go with? Was it to celebrate an occassion with some girlfriends or something?

[jcali]

Well, she is going with her dads girlfriend who is 40ish, and her two sons that are around 20. I asked why she didn't invite me, and she said I wouldn't want to go anyways.

[Cain]

Well, I think it's wrong that she automatically doesn't invite you when she goes out somewhere. Do you trust her?

I trust my girlfriend, but I wouldn't be letting her go alone just because I don't trust other guys.

Plus, call me crazy, but I HATE the idea of my girlfriend grinding with other guys. Luckily, she won't.

[vashti]

Well, she is going with her dads girlfriend who is 40ish, and her two sons that are around 20. I asked why she didn't invite me, and she said I wouldn't want to go anyways.

Assuming these boys are in the same age range as she is, then yes - I'd have a problem with that if I were you. She should have invited you. Are you a drag to hang out with in social situations? Why wouldn't she want you to be there?

[Cain]

Assuming these boys are in the same age range as she is, then yes - I'd have a problem with that if I were you. She should have invited you. Are you a drag to hang out with in social situations? Why wouldn't she want you to be there?

This is why I'm glad my girlfriend has more respect for me. Not only will she not go to a club without me there, but she won't dance with any guys... not any kind of dancing... out of respect. She wouldn't want me doing it so she knows that she shouldn't.

And luckily for me, though she has guy friends, she won't hang out with them alone. She doesn't want to.

And I don't have to worry about her dressing sluttish when she goes out. She doesn't let her boobs hang out, etc...

I got lucky.

[bluesummer]

Yeah, I find it weird that she didn't invite you to go to this particular night out. It doesn't seem like something exclusive, like a girl's night out. If she were going out with just her gf's, then I think it should be fine and you need to trust her.

[jcali]

Well I may be a drag, I have a hard time hanging out with what I call low lifes. These people she hangs out with cheat on boyfriends/girlfriends, use people for money, and her dads gf even mortgaged the house for implants.

I have standards in friends, and let me say that I have hung out with some of the worst people ever in my past, but got rid of them all once I got in this relationship because it needed to happen.

My current goal is to semi retire by 25(23 now), and travel the world ,and see the places I haven't yet. I have mentioned to her that I plan to go to Quebec Canada, Ibiza Spain, Australia, and some other really fun places next year, and offered to take her to clubs there.

I've even offered to meet in the middle, and go to music festivals like Coachella, or some other electronic music events in Los Angeles with dancing, but she seems uninterested.

I go to things that I enjoy, and maybe I'm a jerk, but hip hop grinding is pathetic, and is not enjoyable in the least.

[vashti]

You mean you won't ever take her to events SHE would enjoy?

Why not?

Do you think all the women attending sporting events actually LIKE the game? Hell no - they just love their men!

It is one thing to not want to hang with low-lifes, and quite another to be unwilling to take your girlfriend's interests to mind now and then. If you are always so inflexible, I can see you are headed for a lot of trouble in your relationships unless you hook up with a mousy, little, no-personality girl who is afraid to have an opinion about anything.

Your girlfriend may just be rebelling. She also may be no good.

[jcali]

Well I have asked her if theres some kind of median, which I think is fair. She loves Las Vegas, so I took her there last year. I just took her to Palm Springs as a surprise last week as well because she mentioned something about it.

I also take her to all the movies that she wants to see, so I think I'm somewhat flexible. Maybe I'm missing something, but I think I'm pretty good to her.

[Cain]

There's things besides taking her out on vacations and showering her with money.

[jcali]

Well, I not only do that, but I try to spend time talking with her, and ask her about work, her goals, I listen to her music she enjoys(rock). I mean I'm giving it my all here, and I don't know what to do. She has some pretty bad issues with some things that happened to her in the past, and shes not able to get over it.

I really don't know at this point. She also tells me about the guys who hit on her at work, and try and get her to leave me, and she continues to be friends with them. At this point I don't know, I'm just horrible at relationships I guess.

[vashti]

Maybe you'd be better off with someone who didn't need so much attention and had interests more similar to yours?

[lesa]

People will start to assimilate with those they associate. Do you see a great future with this person? She doesn't sound like your type or class.

[clearskies]

Give her a warning but please for God's sake dont break with her. Be tolerant and still let her feel u r jealous, ONLY if she did nt respect ur jealousy, at that stage i 'd say she does not deserve you. I always hoped my hubby wd feel jealous while he didnt care.