Help, meeting the ex....

[TheBigMan86]

Advice Needed!

I am going to see my ex tonight... We still have a mortgage together and some work is needed to be done in the house before it goes up for sale.... So I am off to do that with her.

What I would like some advice on is should I take some wine or something? Or a gift of some sort? Or should I just play it cool and turn up and crack on with the work???

What sort of things should I say to her, I want her back but sincce breaking up 6 weeks ago I have basically just played the 'Im a mess' card....

Should I talk about how I feel, just bring it up in convo... Or should I not mention it????

Any advice would be awesome!

[steviej]

More details needed! What caused the breakup, how long were you together etc.

Reason being that is that depending on what happened will affect how you should approach it.

[Take2]

"I'm a mess?" What, are you hoping she will feel sorry for you if you are pathetic enough and come running back? I say your best bet is "I am strong and will make it through this. I still love you and would love another chance to work out our differences. If not, I will move on with my life without you and find happiness." That is what you need to exude. And that is what you need to work hard to believe for yourself, too.

[Sonrisa]

i do think that taking some snacks and non-alcoholic beverages could be a good move.

[TheBigMan86]

Well I took some bottles of coke and some sweets

Didnt look miserable at all and just chatted with her as if nothing was wrong I felt better for it rather than the breaking down option.... LOL

And fyi I was with her for 7 years and got engaged last year... She broke off the relationship totally out of the blue a couple of months after buying a new house for what is apparently no reason, but who knows what goes on in girls heads......

[steviej]

What is that all about!? The same thing happened with me, everything going absolutely perfect and then BAM!
Sounds though you have a good chance of re-kindling this relationship. Maybe she needs wining and dining again to show her what she's missing...

[TheBigMan86]

Thats what I have been trying, everytime I ask though she says no, I dont think its a good idea... So I stopped asking... Shes been contacting me more lately though...

Maybe some sort of romantic gesture like a hand written poem or something may do the trick, god knows! Im willing to try anything at this point!!

[Sonrisa]

why are you even bothering? are you fugly?

[TheBigMan86]

Certainly not ;-)

I been with her 7 years though and feel like its all going down the pan for no reason (imo)... no harm in trying is all I think, dont want to regret not doing anything in the future.

[Sonrisa]

do you really think that there are no other girls worthy of you?

[TheBigMan86]

Yeah of course there will be, I just want this one.....

[Sonrisa]

dude, you're how old? 24?

[Take2]

Thats what I have been trying, everytime I ask though she says no, I dont think its a good idea... So I stopped asking... Shes been contacting me more lately though...

Maybe some sort of romantic gesture like a hand written poem or something may do the trick, god knows! Im willing to try anything at this point!!

Don't write her a love poem. You will seem desarate and needy, writing a poem for her while she has kicked you to the curb. Be available without being desparate, be happy with who you are and the life you are leading, do not chase this woman down or whine or mope. This is the best course whether she ever comes back to you or not!

[Lady Wisdom]

once you have actually broken up with someone it is not likely to rekindle back to real love unless there is an ulterior motive.

[steviej]

The problem is women are so different from one another that 'tactics' that work for one will be completely wrong for another. Some women might want to see a romantic gesture and to see you fight for them. Others prefer a strong, confident type who will give them the cold shoulder in this situation to which they will panic and crumble and come running back.

Bottom line though is never appear needy or desperate. I think with it now being 6 weeks, her turning down your offers of meeting up, it's looking terminal.
Despite how you feel inside, don't show her any more that you're a mess. Make it look like you're confident and have your spark back, as this is probably what attracted her to you in the first place.
Don't contact her unless it's necessary. Make her miss you!