What is the etiquette of asking for a number

[Off2College]

So say if I meet an attractive girl and we have a nice, but short (5-10 minute) conversation, is it proper to ask for her number? Or should I like, facebook her, and then get her number that way?

I know you guys will say ask for her number, but what are you thoughts on how it feels weird to ask a girl her number when you've just had a 5 mintue conversation.

Also, when I get a number, I have a habit of facebooking her instead of calling her, and end up never asking her out. Hmm. it seems I'm diagnosing my own problems... but what are your thoughts, trusty loveforum.com?

[misombra]

quit being such a ****ing pussy and call this girl.

[bloodtippedrose]

not very attractive to go through a website to get a girls number. When youre done with your conversation ask if she'd be interested in going out sometime and if it would be okay to call her. That simple.

[Only-virgins]

You know, I never got it either how someone could ask a person out of the blue for a number. For you at least you have 5-10 minutes of conversation. I was at a restaurant today and I saw this gorgeous girl...I really wanted to talk to her but what the hell do you say in a freaking restaurant?

[gHEXjt]

Here's the deal dude, you just have to ask. I'd feel like such a pussy if I got a girl's number through the facebook and then when she asks, "how'd you get my # since I never gave it to you?" "Oh, I got it on facebook." My god, that is lame.

I have found that it's rather awkward to ask a girl out 5-10 min after meeting her, but asking for the # is not. There are two different situations where you'd ask for the number:

1. You are loaded at the bar and meet some cool broad - This is obviously the easiest time to get a #. You strike up a convo, you bust out your phone after 5-10 min, and say, "What's your number? I'll give you a call some time." Then they give it to you and you dial it in front of them so they have your # too in their phone. I've never once had a girl give me a fake, though my method is mainly to create some tension if that does happen. Then sometimes you call and they don't answer and the # is deleted, and sometimes they do answer and you meet up. The problem here, also, is if you go out and get sufficiently tanked like I tend to do, you can't remember who the girl is who's number you now have in your phone.

2. Random encounters on campus or at public places while sober - These are a little more tricky. However, if you have a good convo, you don't just straight up ask "Can I have your #?" Sometimes that does work, but when I was in the first few yrs of college I experienced a lot of "Oh sorry, I have a boyfriend" responses. Some guys are smooth enough to get a # and a date after 5 min, but I am not and it seems like you are not. What I've found is most effective is "What's your #, maybe we can meet up at a bar this weekend when we're both out?" That still may result in a no answer or unreturned message, but you aren't putting yourself out there as much and are really just requesting that you hang out a little more with friends around to get to know each other better.

Bottom line, if she says no, you won't be any more disappointed than if you don't ask and you find that you are kicking yourself in the ass over it. You could also just say, "I give unreal mushroom tattoos, and if you want I'll give you a call in a few days and you might get one." I bet that would work.

[vashti]

If you have a great conversation, why not ask for a number?

[Chlorine]

So say if I meet an attractive girl ........I know you guys will say ask for her number, but what are you thoughts on how it feels weird to ask a girl her number when you've just had a 5 mintue conversation.

Off2college--------So say if you meet an attractive girl and you've spoken with her for 5mins, and than she has to leave.......and you let her walk away WITHOUT asking for her number.

Wouldn't that be worse?

That's "no" by default.

[Mathias]

So say if I meet an attractive girl and we have a nice, but short (5-10 minute) conversation, is it proper to ask for her number? Or should I like, facebook her, and then get her number that way?

I know you guys will say ask for her number, but what are you thoughts on how it feels weird to ask a girl her number when you've just had a 5 mintue conversation.

Also, when I get a number, I have a habit of facebooking her instead of calling her, and end up never asking her out. Hmm. it seems I'm diagnosing my own problems... but what are your thoughts, trusty loveforum.com?

What's the worst that could happen if you ask for her number? She says no?

Sack up and do it.

[TheSphinx]

I would think calling a girl using information you acquired from her Facebook account would seem stalker-ish.

When having a great conversation with a girl, just have a cell phone or pen and paper at hand and offer it to her saying, "Hey, I've got to run. Here, enter/write down your number."

That's it.

It's bold, clearly communicates your interest and saves time.

~Sphinx

[Off2College]

k, one more question though.

Is it common when you get a number, but she doesn't offer to ask you for yours? Should you just say like, "oh I'll give you a call right now so you can get mine" or you offer to give her yours?

[vashti]

Speaking as a female, I wouldn't ever ask for a guy's phone number. HE is the boy, not me. Traditionally, you guys have to call first. I might ask for the phone number after we have agreed to a date so I could call you if you were late, but that's it.

[Nkeno]

Asking for her number after 5 minutes makes you look quite desperate. But if you succeed then by all means avoid harrassing her with hourly phone calls.
I would suggest waiting at least 2-3 days before you even call her (that will show that you are not some desperate guy).
Works very well !

[bloodtippedrose]

Asking for her number after 5 minutes makes you look quite desperate. But if you succeed then by all means avoid harrassing her with hourly phone calls.
I would suggest waiting at least 2-3 days before you even call her (that will show that you are not some desperate guy).
Works very well !

actually i wouldnt wait over two. It doesnt make a guy look desperate it makes the girl feel desirable. If you wait longer she will asume you have other girls on call and shes not important enough to get back to right away.

[GrkScorp]

actually i wouldnt wait over two. It doesnt make a guy look desperate it makes the girl feel desirable. If you wait longer she will asume you have other girls on call and shes not important enough to get back to right away.

Oh, for the number of days you should wait until you call back:

Rule: 2 days (In terms of hours, it actually comes out to 1.5 days)

Any less (if she's attractive) and you DO look desperate, easy, and needy.. anything more, and you just irritate her beyond belief, she begins to give up hope, and she'll start to lose interest fast..

As for asking for the number; it depends on the girl.. some women have an ego; and not matter how far off her high-rocker you knock her.. her female-ego just won't part with those digits so easily..

for kitty-cats: "Well, i'm glad we had our little chat, you're pretty fun, we should do this again sometime" just smile, look around as if you're leaving, and don't look at her to see what her reaction is.. (she'll give you her number)

for cougars: (it doesn't matter if you've taken her back to your place and had sex; it doesn't matter if you've moved her to tears and made her feel a sense of attraction to you like a fat kid in an oreo factory; she's not going to give you her number unless you ask for it).. since this is the case; don't brush that female ego TOO much.. go along with the line on top; but just as you finish saying "we should do this again sometime".. don't go off and say "what's your number?".. instead say something along the lines of "let me get your number".. after she gives it to you; you can call it a night with a "maybe i'll call you this weekend, we'll see" and smile.. it builds anticipation and a sense of mystery.. OR; "alright, but don't think just because I have your number i'm going to call you" and smile.. this is actually ment to end the night on a small laugh.. (don't smile TOO much, like it's TOO much of a joke; actually play it out so that it would appear that you COULD be serious.. it's obviously a joke, but the facial expression makes the difference)

[bloodtippedrose]

As for asking for the number; it depends on the girl.. some women have an ego; and not matter how far off her high-rocker you knock her.. her female-ego just won't part with those digits so easily..

I dont understand. Well I do, but I dont understand how woman can be like that. And that includes myself. Theres a guy I met, sweet, cute, funny, im single, we have a great time talking to each other and even hanging out, and I want to sex him up.. he asks for my number and something in my brain switches.. NO! he cant have it! by all costs he must not obtain it! Its like I think its trampy to give out my number. For God sakes woman its a phone number! I tell him I dont give out my number but Ill take his. A few times more of him cleverly asking for my number (somehow swinging my jokes into asking for it) I give it up. Bottom line, all woman are crazy, you have to beat them at their own game.

(hehe, reminds me of a joke: what do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothin, you dun told her twice..)