Hello,
I won't let myself move on, and keep obsessing. I am stuck in the past and can't let go. Why?
My ex and I were together for 3 years and lived together in a different country from mine. She has a 6 year old daughter.
We broke up 7 months ago and have been NC for 4. She has a new boyfriend and I just found out she is pregnant.
She really wanted a baby, so I am happy for her, but I guess I wish it was my child.
But when we were together, we had a terrible relationship. We both weren't happy and 'broke up' many times.
She was my first real girlfriend, and I acted very immature and mean sometimes. I am trying to deal with the guilt of that.
But she also was difficult and had many problems with big debts and things, and got me involved in that.
I kinda knew we weren't right for each other, and even thought we should break up.
So why did it break my heart, and hurt so much? Why am I still obsessed with her, and can't let go?
I feel like I did love her, but maybe it's just obsession.
I realise that we will never get back together, especially since she is now having someone else's baby, but why do I keep thinking about her all the time and missing the past? Sometimes I even start to feel a bit better, but I stop myself and make myself remember and feel bad again. What is wrong with me?
It took me a long time to find a girl who would love me, and now it feels like it will be a long time till I find someone else. She loved me, and I threw away the chance to be happy with her.
Why can't I get myself together and be strong enough to look to the future and something better?
If anyone has any comments or wants to tell me, just get over it, I would appreciate it.