Hi im steph,need some advice about my bf who cheated on me with his cousin.x

[steph]

Hi im steph,
I am hoping people will be able to give me some advice as i have nobody i can talk to about this.
I started going out with my bf sept 2007,things were fine for a while and we would often go out with his friends and his cousin would be there,i got on very well with her,she is a few years younger than both of us.My bf and i split up in feb and i was then told that he was seeing his cousin,it made me feel sick.he denied it and to this day still does.My gut feeling was that this was true.I became very depressed,had to leave my job.I slowly got on with things although i still had feelings for him and missed him,crazy i know! i think because he kept saying that it wasnt true i started to belive him.We got back together in sept 2008 and i tried to forget about it,put it to back of my mind.This week my best friend told me that it is true as she spoke to the cousins brother.Aparently she told her family about the relationship,they were not happy but excepted it,then his parents found out and were disgusted they told him that if it was true they would disown him.since then he has denied it and none of his family talk about it.The fact that he still lies about it makes me so mad, i have brought it up alot and he gets mad at me saying that im mad and being silly,turns it onto me but i know he isnt telling the truth.I love him very much but im finding it very hard to believe anything he says or does.I dont know what to do,someone please give me some advice,i cant talk about this to my family and friens as they would be disgusted and if i end up staying with him it could make things very akward in the future as my family like him,but they wouldnt if they knew.any advice appreciated,
many thanks
steph x

[vashti]

Eww.

That said, you are going to need to decide if you are going to be able to forget about this or not. If not, you are going to have to break up with him. If this was simply a youthful mistake it wouldn't be right to have this come up periodically throughout his life by a woman who couldn't get over it.

I don't think I'd be able to forget about this, though. If you two were eventually to marry, have kids, blah blah blah, you will have to see this girl at family events for the rest of your life, and your potential kids may hear about it because it is no secret if people in the family know about it.

[rembrandt]

Eww.

That said, you are going to need to decide if you are going to be able to forget about this or not. If not, you are going to have to break up with him. If this was simply a youthful mistake it wouldn't be right to have this come up periodically throughout his life by a woman who couldn't get over it.

I don't think I'd be able to forget about this, though. If you two were eventually to marry, have kids, blah blah blah, you will have to see this girl at family events for the rest of your life, and your potential kids may hear about it because it is no secret if people in the family know about it.

i agree with u

[Illusional]

may i ask which degree of kinship is this cousin?? first cousin?? second cousin?? third cousin?? or so forth..??

raverboy

[meko]

How close is his family to his cousin's family? If you know that they spend a long time together then it will be hard for him and you to move on.

How old was he when he dated his cousin? How long do you think they went out for? If it was something stupid he did when he was young and it sounds like he knows it was stupid then it's best to leave it alone.


Just give it time but if you still find it hard to trust him then it's best to end it even though you'll know how much it's going to hurt and suck.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

Are you sure the rumors are true?

My cousin once spread a rumor that I was a whore in the little town I was living in at the time. It kinda sucked because I had 8 aunts, 8 uncles, and about 50 cousins that all gave me dirty looks at the next family reunion. In fact, my aunt April's(very religious) children are not allowed to speak to me.

So...are you sure it's true? I mean, if it's not, can you imagine how badly it would suck for him to hear constant accusations from you about dating his cousin?

Also, as Illusional said, 1st cousin? Second? Third? Fourth?

[lention3895]

you just forget him, if go on how can you lived with him in all life.