Need someone to help me find myself and win her back

[inneedoftruth]

During June 2008, I went to Washington state (my home being Missouri) for an internship at a prestigious research firm for a few months alongside with 40 other people my age from across the country. I had just graduated college and left behind my loving girlfriend of a year and a half (we said we'd make the distance thing work). Roughly 3 months into the internship, the other people left to go back to school and there lives, whereas i was offered the chance to extend my stay and continue my research...so i was cool with that. It was good money.

A month later, social isolation kicked in....hard (I was only allowed to call my girlfriend outside of the research campus). I was used to having tons of friends to draw upon when i needed interaction and was now reduced to one person. My isolation quickly grew out of control and I had eventually succumbed to a nervous breakdown. My anxiety grew to paranoia and I started accusing my girlfriend of cheating on me...alot. We have lost the spark that we had managed to keep for 17 months with NO previous fights before-hand. Now that I have returned, I am now suffering constantly from anxiety, depression, and now that ive moved into a new large city (im a nerdy country boy), i still dont have any friends. My gf and I are accompanied by our 16 month old son, and we are constatly arguing because I am needy and emotionally messed up. I still have paranoid thoughts of her cheating on me and am grasping at straws to figure out what happened and how to fix it....

Could someone please help me out. I used to have so much potential and vibrance in my life. My gf was madly in love with me and now she almost views me as weak and pathetic...I want the old me back...

[Spring Haze]

Are you on medication? Have you considered therapy?

[carl1222]

WTF!!! You have recently done stuff that should make you feel on top of the world ... and now you are home with your GF and baby when you should feel the most secure in a long time.

Why do you think she is cheating on you now???!!!

Carl.

[inneedoftruth]

I wish i knew why ims till so paranoid and insecure now. The nervous breakdown that I went through has shaken me to my core. I dont even know what i want to do with my life anymore! Im going to go back to school for engineering. I just would like to know how to get her to invest emotionally back into me again!

[Spring Haze]

Maybe she could "invest emotionally" once you're emotionally stable. Thanks for disregarding my questions.

[inneedoftruth]

To answer your question, no im not on medication, and yes, Ive seen a counselor once...and am going to see her again. sry, never used a forum before..

[Aeradalia]

Lead by example... if you invest emotionally in yourself.. then she will probably follow suit.

The ball is in your court --- it's up to you to decide whether regaining your life is worth fighting through the irrational torment your mind has placed against you.

How badly do you want your life back? Bad enough to actually take action --- knowing this will probably be the hardest thing you will ever have to do in life?

Don't lose track of what's at stake --- your family, your life, your sanity, and ultimately... your happiness.

Get some help... counseling, therapy.. and if necessary... medication.